Waiting for God Quotes

Basil: Tom?
Tom: Mmh?
Basil: You know you're the biggest wally ever to draw breath, don't you?
Tom: Have they put you on new pills, Basil?
Basil: In fact, I think you may be the most stupid man I've ever met... and I was in the army for ten years.

Movie: Waiting for God
Diana: What's wrong with my smile?
Tom Ballard: Well, it's like a crack in the walls of hell. One can smell the sulphur and hear the cries of the damned through your smile.

Movie: Waiting for God
[first lines]
Basil: [singing] I joined the army yesterday, so the army of today's all right.
Tom: Pom, pom, pom. What ho, Baz. Waiting for Miss Right?
Basil: God forbid. Miss Wrong's much more fun. [Tom laughs]
Basil: Actually, I'm waiting for the postman.
Tom: Oh, he comes in a van these days.
Basil: Oh.
Tom: Got sick of Diana ambushing him. Expecting something are you?
Basil: The word from Cubby Cabbage.
Tom: Who?
Basil: Fellow that makes the Bond films
Tom: Broccoli!
Basil: Bless you!

Movie: Waiting for God
[first lines]
Diana: Oh, look at this, Antonio. Your bulbs are upside down, you fool. Votre fleurs sont... What is the French for 'upside down'? Quel est le français pour 'upside down'?
Jane: He's Portuguese, Diana.
Diana: I do not speak Portuguese, Jane. Will you please not confuse the issue. Bad enough trying to communicate with this sardine-sucking incompetent without you flapping around like a bat on heat. Look, upside down-o. What are you trying to do, make them pop up in Sydney? [she throws the bulb at Antonio]
Antonio: Doh. [he stalks off]
Diana: Dear God, how did Vasco da Gama ever make it home?
Jane: Mr Bains did ask you not to throw things at the staff. It's very bad for morale if the people they're trying to care for keep attacking them.

Movie: Waiting for God
[first lines]
Tom: [wincing and shifting in his seat] Ooooo-oo!
Diana: What on earth's the matter?
Tom: Wind! Been at me all night. It must be yesterday's dead dog stew. [winces again]
Tom: Ay-oh, aah. That's better. Must have done a U turn.
Diana: Thank God for that!
Tom: Well, better an empty house than a bad tenant.
Diana: Well, just don't do your evicting in here.

Movie: Waiting for God
[last lines]
Diana: Well, that's got rid of him for a while. Funny. Exposing himself to a town councillor. Should impress the board.
Tom: Jane is taking him to a clinic.
Diana: Clinic? He's not pregnant, is he?
Tom: A psychiatric clinic.
Diana: Oh, don't be so silly. There's nothing wrong with him.
Tom: You just don't see, do you?
Diana: What do you mean?
Tom: He's blown a head gasket, for goodness sake. Couldn't you see that?
Diana: He's just a bit upset.
Tom: He's calling for his mother!
Diana: It's not my fault.
Tom: And you damn well didn't help, did you!
Diana: No-one's any fun any more.

Movie: Waiting for God