They Came Together Quotes

Joel: Give me another one, make it a double.
Bartender: You look like you had a bad day.
Joel: Heh, tell me about it.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap and you haven't said very much.
Joel: You can say that again.
Bartender: Well, you came in here looking like crap and you haven't said very much.

Movie: They Came Together
Molly: Can I ask you a question: how do you sleep at night?
Joel: I usually jerk off and then sleep pretty soundly.

Movie: They Came Together
Molly: I love fiction books. Do you?
Eggbert: No, they're not real.

Movie: They Came Together
Melanie: [on the phone]... So he went down on me and I came in like one second, haha...
Joel: Good morning Melanie.
Melanie: Oh my boss is here, I'll call you later. Bye dad.

Movie: They Came Together
Brenda: Desert's almost ready. Who wants coffee?
Eggbert: I would love a double-cream, no coffee.
Valerie: I'll have a half mocha macchiato.
Teddy: I'll have a caf, half latte caramel venti frappuccino.
Molly
Joel: Boy, whatever happened to just good old regular coffee?
Molly: ...Asshole.
Joel: Cunt.

Movie: They Came Together
Molly: [playing charades, acting like a shark]
Brenda: Paws!
Valerie: Laws!
Eggbert: Jizz!
Teddy: Jews!
Bob: Time's up.
Molly: Jaws. I was doing Jaws.

Movie: They Came Together
Joel: Why don't you just take a jerk, you hike!

Movie: They Came Together
Joel: [at dinner party]So, uh, Molly...
Molly: Listen, before you ask me anymore questions from the Icebreaker Handbook, here's the 411: Upper Sweet Side NYC. Does the name ring a bell?
Joel: Yeah. Little candy shop?
Molly: Ding ding ding! Give the man a prize, he's a winner! What does he want Johnny? A new car! Yes, that is my store and I put my whole life into it.
Joel: I had no idea.
Molly: The only line you care about is the bottom line. Are you the kind of person I feel a strong connection to? Yes. Do I find you cute and funny? Yes. Could you be the guy that I fall for and live with forever? Yes, but the point is you're a corporate robot. And so it is with great pleasure that I say to you, go jump in a lake, meathead! [chucks water in his face and storms off, everyone gasps]
Joel: Molly. Wait, Molly!... Shit. [awkward silence]
Joel: I'll have what she's having, heh.
Bob: ...You are having what she's having. It's all the same food; the pasta and the beans and the lentils.

Movie: They Came Together
Molly: I don't know Tiffany but she sounds like a stupid bitch.

Movie: They Came Together
Kyle: You can have the pussy, just save me the hole.

Movie: They Came Together
Molly: Wanda, I really like this guy Joel, but I just don't know if he's the one. I mean, I wish there was some sort of sign that proved it.
Wanda: How about this? When you meet up with him tonight, change the way you look - just a tiny little bit, but if he notices, then, that's how you'll know he's the one.
Molly: [Muses]Change the way I look and see if he notices. Wanda, thank you, you're the best.
Wanda: You are. [Molly moves forward and pecks Wanda on the lips. Wanda looks horrified]
Wanda: . No.
Molly: Just felt like I was getting a vibe.

Movie: They Came Together
Joel: What are we doing?
Molly: Oh my god, this is all happening so fast. [Joel moves in for a kiss]
Molly: . I can't - my Aunt Flo is visiting.
Joel: You're on your period?
Molly: No, my Aunt Flo is visiting me from Florida. Hey Aunt Flo. [Turns to see her Aunt Flo standing nearby]
Molly: .

Movie: They Came Together
Molly: Umm... forget it.
Joel: What?
Molly: No, I...
Joel: C'mon, tell me.
Molly: Are you hungry?
Joel: Hungry? Try starving.
Molly: Why don't I have you over for dinner? I'll make you my world famous mac and cheese.
Joel: 'K [smiles and nods]
Molly: I like how you say 'K.
Joel: I like how you say I like how you say 'K.

Movie: They Came Together
Joel: I have a dream, that someday I want to have my own coffee place, A Cup of Joel, you know, as like in cup of joe, but I would say Joel...
Molly: Right.
Joel: ...because everyone knows cup of joe, cup of Joel because my name's Joel.
Molly: Smart.
Joel: So Joel instead of joe.
Molly: I get it.
Joel: Ahh, I don't know, it's probably just wishful thinking, right, it's kind of stupid.
Molly: No, it's not stupid, it's great, you should do that.
Joel: Tiffany always said that it was a dumb idea.
Molly: I don't know Tiffany, but she sounds like a stupid bitch. [Both chuckle]

Movie: They Came Together