The Two Ronnies Quotes

Ronnie Barker: I say, Humphrey.
Ronnie Corbett: What is it, Godfrey?
Ronnie Barker: Who was that terrible woman you were with today?
Ronnie Corbett: That was my sister.
Ronnie Barker: Oh, yes! Of course! I should have noticed the resemblance. Just got married, hasn't she?
Ronnie Corbett: Yes. Yes. And do you know, she's married a man who, invariably, people take an instant dislike to.
Ronnie Barker: Oh? Why is that, do you think?
Ronnie Corbett: It saves time. She's just moved to Cheltenham. She loves Cheltenham. She says, in Cheltenham, breeding is everything.
Ronnie Barker: Yes, well, we enjoy it in Kensington as well, but we're not fanatical about it.
Ronnie Corbett: Funny thing is, though, although he's a bully, an idler and a drunk, she intends to have seventeen children by him.
Ronnie Barker: Good grief! Why on earth would she want to do that?
Ronnie Corbett: She says she's hoping to lose him in the crowd.

Movie: The Two Ronnies
Ronnie Barker: This kitchen appliance completely replaces the milkman, unless you're the woman at 14 Catbury Drive with the green door.

Movie: The Two Ronnies
Ronnie Corbett: You know your doctor said you were only allowed two pints a day
Ronnie Barker: That's right, yeah
Ronnie Corbett: Well, your missus tells me that you have half a dozen pints.
Ronnie Barker: That's right, yeah.
Ronnie Corbett: How come?
Ronnie Barker: Well, I went to two other doctors and they allowed me two pints.

Movie: The Two Ronnies