The Road to Wellville Quotes

Charles Ossining: With friends like you, who needs enemas?

Movie: The Road to Wellville
Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: An erection is a flagpole on your grave.

Movie: The Road to Wellville
Endymion Hart-Jones: The enemas take some getting used to, but, in time, you'll learn to look forward to them like an old friend with a cold nose.

Movie: The Road to Wellville
[Charlie is waiting outside in the rain for Bender. A kid approaches him]
Ernest O'Reilly: You Charlie Ossining?
Charles Ossining: Yes.
Ernest O'Reilly: Mr. Bender says you're to come with me.
Charles Ossining: Good God boy, where's the cab?
Ernest O'Reilly: No cab, Mr. Bender says to walk.
Charles Ossining: Is it far?
Ernest O'Reilly: It wouldn't be if we weren't walking.

Movie: The Road to Wellville