The Matchmaker Quotes

Marcy Tizard: I... I... I long to fax someone
Sean Kelly: I have a fax.
Marcy Tizard: [gasps] You do!

Movie: The Matchmaker
Marcy Tizard: Is this a humiliate-the-tourist scenario?
Sean Kelly: [nodding] No.

Movie: The Matchmaker
Marcy Tizard: It's so beautiful here. If it just had the New York Times, it would be perfect.

Movie: The Matchmaker
Marcy Tizard: Oh yes, I'm so very Mary Tyler Moore, everyone says so.

Movie: The Matchmaker
[Stack finds a purse full of money - the one lost by Mr. Vandergelder, but Stack thinks it was lost by Cornelius]
Malachi Stack: You surprised that I want to get rid of this money so quickly? Well, I'll explain it to you: There was a time in my life that my chief interest was picking up money that didn't belong to me. Now, stealin's a weakness. There's some people who say you shouldn't have no weaknesses at all... no vices. But, if a man has no vices he's in great danger of making vices out of his virtues. That's a spectacle. We've all seen 'em. No... no... Nurse one vice to your bosom. Give it the attention that it deserves and let your virtues spring up modestly around it. I took to whiskey - whiskey took to me. Then I discovered one important rule that I'm going to pass on to you..."Never support two weaknesses at the same time." It's your 'combination sinners' that dishonor the vices and bring them into bad repute. There's nothing worse than for a man to be a drunkard AND a thief. So, now you know why I want to get rid of this money. I want to keep my mind free to do credit to the whiskey that it deserves. And my last word to you is this: One vice at a time.

Movie: The Matchmaker