Spy Quotes

Elaine Crocker: [referring to Susan's disastrous training video]I must have watched this fifteen times now because what the fuck? I almost put it up on YouTube.

Movie: Spy
Rayna Boyanov: Whatever, fuck you.
Susan Cooper: I knew you liked me!
Susan Cooper: Hey! Fuck you too.

Movie: Spy
Susan Cooper: Oh my God, Rayna. Thank God your hair broke your fall.

Movie: Spy
Susan Cooper: I pulled up my file. [puts file near the keyboard]
Elaine Crocker: Jesus, not my keyboard with your pinkeye infected fingers! Why don't you just cry directly into my mouth while you're at it?

Movie: Spy
Susan Cooper: Get your hands off my boobs!
Rick Ford: I'm saving you!
Susan Cooper: You motherfucker, I'm gonna report you to HR!

Movie: Spy
Rick Ford: [holding onto Susan's legs, the two of them dangling from the landing skid of DeLuca's helicopter]I can't get a grip. Your pants are too slippery! You should've worn coarser pants!
Susan Cooper: Oh, I'm sorry I didn't wear my fucking sandpaper pants!

Movie: Spy
Nancy B. Artingstall: I don't condone this sexy yet reckless behavior, Susan Cooper!

Movie: Spy
Susan Cooper: [commenting on Rick's clumsy rescue entrance]He means well.

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[first lines] Bradley Fine: Baccarat. Exquisite. [throws his champagne flute to the floor]

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Susan Cooper: [having stabbed her opponent]Oh, that's clean through.
Lia: Thanks for your weapon.
Susan Cooper: Well, you know, it's been inside you, so I don't think it should go inside me...

Movie: Spy
Sergio De Luca: What's going on at the CIA? Drones taking all the cool assignments?

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Susan Cooper: I'm taking that fucking coat!

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Susan Cooper: So, you need me De Luca, and I'm not gonna help you unless you keep Fine alive.
Sergio De Luca: Now, let me get this straight, you work for the CIA, yet your're willing to help me sell a nuclear bomb in order to save this man's life. Why would I believe that?
Rayna Boyanov: Because she's in love with him.
Susan Cooper: Yeah, so what? This idiot doesn't even know it. Too dumb to know I'd do anything for him.

Movie: Spy
Patrick: [Shows Susan a bottle of Stool Softener pills]If you ever feel like you have been poisoned, chew one of these.
Susan Cooper: Have I done something to you to upset you?

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Susan Cooper: It's got a Martha Stewart had a breakdown feel.

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Rick Ford: Oh, fuck my ass!

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Rayna Boyanov: The moment I saw you standing there in that abortion of a dress...
Susan Cooper: Ah... Come on.
Rayna Boyanov: It was as if to say This is what I've got, world. It's hideous, but it's mine.

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Nancy B. Artingstall: This is just like when I watched myself in a sex tape. There was just a lot of floundering and laughable moments.

Movie: Spy
Susan Cooper: I need you to untie me now. [Aldo motions to untie her]
Susan Cooper: That's my ass!
Aldo: It is very difficult to see or gauge my position.
Susan Cooper: You're just simply grabbing my ass.
Aldo: Oh, I am sorry.

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Aldo: Hello, captured lady.

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Susan Cooper: Jiminy Christmas!

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Susan Cooper: So, what's the plan, who are we meeting?
Rayna Boyanov: You're my body guard, not my business partner, so just focus on guarding my body.
Susan Cooper: So not knowing who we're meeting tonight is gonna make me extra effective. That's okay, I get it. I got shit to do. You'll probably be fine. why don't I go get you a nice dress to be buried in? Dumb ass.

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Rayna Boyanov: [disgusted]Oh, God! One of these dead fuckers just shit his pants.

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Susan Cooper: [referring to Anton]Does he not look like a bag o' dicks?

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Susan Cooper: Aw, come on!
Aldo: You, in this outfit... Magnifico! [Susan slams door shut on Aldo]

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Susan Cooper: Here's to you. You may never be as wise as an owl, but you'll always be a hoot to me!

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Susan Cooper: [from trailer][due to her weight, Susan's bike topples]
Susan Cooper: Goddamnit!

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[Wakes up, sees Ford sleeping next to her and screams] Rick Ford: Oh, stop screaming, you loved it.
Susan Cooper: Oh God!

Movie: Spy
Rick Ford: I told you to send me in there instead of Fine, and you didn't. And now Fine's *dead*. I'm going the fuck in.
Elaine Crocker: You can't. We need someone to follow De Luca without being detected... And that will hopefully take us to Rayna, but it can't be any of you.
Rick Ford: Here's what we do... I go into the Face/Off machine, get a whole new face. I turn up, they never know it's me.
Elaine Crocker: Do you have quarters? Because it costs 50 cents.
Rick Ford: What, I gotta pay?
Elaine Crocker: *No*, because it doesn't exist
Rick Ford: Yes, it does! I heard Cress and Wright talking about it in the shitter. [Points to Cress and Wright as they look down, hiding there laughter]
Elaine Crocker: I'm sure they were pulling your leg.
Rick Ford: You pair of fucking vaginas! [Cress and Wright burst out laughing]
Elaine Crocker: Seriously? You've got to cut that out.

Movie: Spy