Scrooge Quotes

Ebenezer: Who is that? The doctor?
Mrs. Dilber: The undertaker.
Ebenezer: You don't believe in letting the grass grow under your feet, do you?
The Undertaker: Ours is a very competitive profession, sir.

Movie: Scrooge
Ebenezer Scrooge: I will start anew/I will make amends/and I will make quite certain/that the story ends/on a note of hope/on a strong amen/and I'll thank the world/and remember when/I was able to begin again!

Movie: Scrooge
Ebenezer Scrooge: Why do you walk the earth? Why'd you come to persecute me? And what is that great chain you wear?
the Ghost of Jacob Marley: I wear the chain I forged in life. I made it, link by link and yard by yard, while on Earth, and now I will never be rid of it, any more than you will ever be rid of yours!
Ebenezer Scrooge: [shocked] Mine?
the Ghost of Jacob Marley: It was as heavy and long as this seven Christmases ago. It's a terrible, ponderous chain you are making, Scrooge!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Tell me more, Marley, but speak comforts to me!
the Ghost of Jacob Marley: I have none to give.
Ebenezer Scrooge: None?
the Ghost of Jacob Marley: Comfort comes from other sources, Ebenezer Scrooge, and is given by other ministers than I to other kinds of men than you. When I lived, my spirit, like yours, never walked beyond the narrow limits of our counting house.
Ebenezer Scrooge: But you were always a good man of business, Jacob.
the Ghost of Jacob Marley: Mankind should be our business, Ebenezer, but we seldom attend to it... as you shall see.

Movie: Scrooge
Ebenezer Scrooge: Who are you?
Ghost of Christmas Past: I am the spirit whose coming was foretold to you.
Ebenezer Scrooge: You don't look like a ghost.
Ghost of Christmas Past: Thank you.
Ebenezer Scrooge: May I inquire as to more precisely who or what you are?
Ghost of Christmas Past: I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Long past?
Ghost of Christmas Past: No. Your past.

Movie: Scrooge
Frank Cross: I want to see her nipples.
Censor Lady: But this is a CHRISTMAS show.
Frank Cross: Well, I'm sure Charles Dickens would have wanted to see her nipples.
Carpenter: You can barely see them nipples.
Frank Cross: See? And these guys are REALLY looking.

Movie: Scrooge
Frank Cross: You've got a promo featuring America's favorite old fart reading a book in front of a fireplace! Now I have to kill all of you!

Movie: Scrooge