Rab C. Nesbitt Quotes

Nurse: [Mary has gone under a serious operation in hospital. But something unforseen has happened as she lies in bed afterwards] I'm afraid your stitches have burst, Mrs. Nesbitt.
Mary Nesbitt: Oh, thank goodness for that, nurse. For a minute there I though I'd pissed mysel.

Movie: Rab C. Nesbitt
Rab C. Nesbitt: I mean I Had tae start drinkin again didn't I?
Doctor: Oh really, how so?
Rab C. Nesbitt: Aw, It was her. She said foreplay wusny worth a toss since ma hon stopped shakin!

Movie: Rab C. Nesbitt
Rab C. Nesbitt: [to the audience] What a business, all because I take a wee drink, eh... Tell yae wan thing - see all this shoutin? It does not half give yae a helluva thirst.
Stranger: [handing Rab a bottle of booze from off screen] That's the game, pal, you tell them. There's nuthin the matter wie a wee drink.
Rab C. Nesbitt: [pleased] Oh... Who the hell are you by the way?
Stranger: Ah c'mon, Rab. Use your imagination [the camera away cuts to the stranger who is revealed to be a pink elephant in a suit and cap]
Stranger: I'm the heebie Jeebie. [the pink elephant starts shaking its head and making funny noises at Rab]
Rab C. Nesbitt: [spitting out the drink and screaming in fear] Heebie jeebie!

Movie: Rab C. Nesbitt