My Best Girl Quotes
Ami: Pretend it is a year aboard. Instead of going to Europe. You are just going to bang a shitload of dudes.
Movie: My Best Girl
Heavily Pierced Kid: Welcome to Cheesus Crust where pizza's a religious experience. How may I ordain your order?
Tank: How is the Pizza of Nazareth?
Heavily Pierced Kid: People worship it.
Hilary: I am deeply offended.
Tank: I know these prices are outrageous which is why I carry my Flavor Savior Card; fifteen percent off to those who eat here religiously.
Tank: How is the Pizza of Nazareth?
Heavily Pierced Kid: People worship it.
Hilary: I am deeply offended.
Tank: I know these prices are outrageous which is why I carry my Flavor Savior Card; fifteen percent off to those who eat here religiously.
Movie: My Best Girl
Hilary: You people are sinners!
Heavily Pierced Kid: You people should have thought about that nineteen years ago before you stopped my mother from going into that clinic! Have a blessed day.
Heavily Pierced Kid: You people should have thought about that nineteen years ago before you stopped my mother from going into that clinic! Have a blessed day.
Movie: My Best Girl
Professor Turner: Making love? what is wrong with you? what is this some red book interview?
Movie: My Best Girl
Rachel: Tank, okay since you have yet to ask me anything at all. I should tell you a little bit about myself, I'm a social worker, yea I know what you are thinking, It is challenging work but so important.
Tank: Woah, woah there big time. I'm a customer satisfaction rep at Airmeister air filtration systems. That is important work because without air, we cannot live.
Tank: Woah, woah there big time. I'm a customer satisfaction rep at Airmeister air filtration systems. That is important work because without air, we cannot live.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: [after Dustin's eyebrow has been buzzed off] We can fix this right?
Burt: Oh sure, why don't we just pop back into my DeLorean.
Burt: Oh sure, why don't we just pop back into my DeLorean.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: [Holding up number from Alexis, who he just met] Daddy bee's got the honey.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: [to Alexis' mother] So, are we gonna do this or what?
[Stands up, steps in front of Alexis' mom and drops his pants]
Tank: Come on, it's not gonna suck itself!
[Stands up, steps in front of Alexis' mom and drops his pants]
Tank: Come on, it's not gonna suck itself!
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: How do I bump into her?
Craig: She's a high school English teacher.
Tank: I can't really hang around high school these days unfortunately.
Craig: She's a high school English teacher.
Tank: I can't really hang around high school these days unfortunately.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: Look at you all white and thin. I bet if I laid you on this bar she could snort you.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: What do you call that stuff AJ?
AJ: "Afganhi cusho kryptonite".
Tank: Killed Superman - I'm just a man
Ami: You really like a super special kind of asshole?
Tank: And I ride the special kind of asshole bus to school.
AJ: "Afganhi cusho kryptonite".
Tank: Killed Superman - I'm just a man
Ami: You really like a super special kind of asshole?
Tank: And I ride the special kind of asshole bus to school.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: Yet, I am concerned that you've had a few too many drinks and now your fingers are in this bowl like it's one of your sorority sisters.
Movie: My Best Girl
Ami: If "ifs" and "buts" were cocks and nuts, I'd be getting gang banged right now.
Movie: My Best Girl
Kindly Stripper: When it comes to love, there is only one thing you can trust. It's not your friends. It's not your head. Its that little voice inside your clamburger.
[In a different voice]
Kindly Stripper: Listen to me
[In a different voice]
Kindly Stripper: Listen to me
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: Easy, Urlacher. Ever notice it's the linebackers concerned with people not eating? If the pussy police here would stop ordering her french fries tempura...
Claire: I just had a child!
Tank: Well, congratulations. I'm sure he was probably delicious. Looks like you downed the whole thing.
Claire: I just had a child!
Tank: Well, congratulations. I'm sure he was probably delicious. Looks like you downed the whole thing.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: How was I suppose to know it was your sister? How was I suppose to know? It was dark, I was drunk and I thought it was you. Oh she's pregnant,too? You tell your sister, I will make a donation to planned parenthood in her honor.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: I mean, baby, get your head in the game. Nothing tastes as good as looking good.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: I would part you like the red sea and let you call me Moses. I would open you up like a public pool on memorial day.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: Is that your phone? Want to Answer your phone? Or are you most interested in me right now? Answer your phone! Oh no wait that is my phone.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: Look at me. You look like Chewbacca and Sasquatch had a baby, and that baby took a shit, and that shit was blinded in a knife fight moments before styling your hair.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: You are what we call a two bagger. That means I wear a bag on my head, just in case the one in you breaks.
Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: You can stop trying to be clever Alexis because the funniest thing that will ever come out of you is me.
Movie: My Best Girl