Lesser of Two Evils Quotes

Josh: While we're out of the hotel, why don't we try and do our best to not be complete fucking assholes. I think we could use some good karma, Ya know, some of the good stuff.
Patrick: Even if karma were a real thing, the amount we would need in order to repair a fraction of the damage we've done is literally unattainable. There is no act selfless enough to send any good fortune our way.

Movie: Lesser of Two Evils
Josh: Right so there's two friends. One of which is the proctologist.
Patrick: Protagonist.
Josh: Yeah, that's what I said.
Patrick: No, you said proctologist.
Josh: What's the difference?
Patrick: Well for starters, a proctologist is a doctor... of the ass.
Josh: Oh.
Patrick: Yeah, they remove unwanted material from people's assholes. Day in and day out, elbow deep in dookie.
Josh: Okay, well, what if the protagonist is a proctologist? And one day he's just in his office performing a normal procedure on somebody's poopshoot and BOOM!

Movie: Lesser of Two Evils