Lee Evans - XL Tour Live 2005 (V) Quotes

Lee Evans: [about little boys climbing trees] GET DOWN, ****ing GET DOWN, I thought my dad was James Brown when I was a kid. But when they get to 16 its all get up, ****ing get up. When you get to 18 its Get out! Get out!
Lee Evans: Not If you've got a daughter though, its Get in
Lee Evans: [as his daughter] But I love him dad.
Lee Evans: ****ing get in!
Lee Evans: [as her boyfriend] But I love her Mr Evans.
Lee Evans: Get ****ed!
Movie: Lee Evans - XL Tour Live 2005 (V)
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Lee Evans: Our grandparents ****ing ate anything put in front of them! Your granddad would say What's for tea, love? Tripe! Oooooohh! Animal stomach lining for ****ing tea, man! They ate anything, ****ing monkey's phlegm, uranutang's bollocks. I dunno I'm just making them up now... chicken's quiff!
Movie: Lee Evans - XL Tour Live 2005 (V)
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Lee Evans: You ever get lost with your wife in the car, you're *completely* lost, and they *always* say the same thing! Oh let's just go home. WE'RE ****ING LOST! WHAT DID YOU THROW ****IN' BREAD OUT THE WINDOW?
Movie: Lee Evans - XL Tour Live 2005 (V)
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Lee Evans: [about smoke alarms] You burn a bit of toast and it goes *nuts!*
Movie: Lee Evans - XL Tour Live 2005 (V)
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Lee Evans: I'm always all over the place, you know, you get these people that are like Here, I was talking to her on monday - was it tuesday? - was it thurs-? WHO CARES! JUST TELL ME WHAT THEY ****ING SAID! I hate them ****ers! They say stuff like Feels like a tuesday, does it feel like a tuesday? Yeah, feels like a tuesday. I don't know! How the **** does tuesday feel? [laughs]
Lee Evans: They're like It's half past five but it only feels like twelve, ****ing hell, do they people forget to go to bed because they already think they're asleep?
Movie: Lee Evans - XL Tour Live 2005 (V)
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