Kissing Darkness Quotes

Ashton: Monsters! Are you alright? Did they get you?
Skylar: No! My life just flashed before my eyes all in thanks to a family of raccoons. I'm really dead now... decaying before your eyes. Wanna see?
Ashton: Really? Does it hurt?
Skylar: Only the first time!
Ashton: Oh, well that's good!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Skylar: ...I'm gonna go wash my face!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Jonathan: So, Ash - you still pissing the bed at night?
Ashton: You know I stopped that! A year... three years ago! No, two years ago!
Jonathan: Well don't - watersports can be hot!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Vlad: Wanna play a game?
Brett: Spin the bottle? Oh babe... I thought we only played that when we were alone together at home!
Vlad: Maybe later. Now screw off!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Ashton: Oh come on, live a little. Let's do it. Yep - the magic gummy bears want to play!
Skylar: And, do what? Summon some hot buff demon who will screw your brains out then rip your throat open? No, thank you! Put that thing back where you found it!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Vlad: Now who is being the... what is the term you people use? Drama Queen?

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Vlad: My dad used to tell us these woods were haunted by a girl... Malice Valeria.
Ashton: Oh - I think I knew a girl who had that!
Vlad: It was her name dumbass, not a disease!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Skylar: This isn't the made for TV movie where a bunch of queers get lost in the woods and have to eat each others' asses to survive!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Skylar: Oh, now the straight boy knows his jewelry. How dare you sneak trips off to Tiffany without a queer-peer in hand!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Skylar: Oh, why is your neck so scary?

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Ashton: I've been trying to call you! Haven't had any reception though. I think it's the rabbits or something - they're scandalous, you know?

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Ashton: So this is it - the cabin... our torture chamber!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Skylar: Oh no, don't you be starting that again. Get a room. I'm so horny that the slightest tease of anything may possibly cause me to explode! I wasn't kidding about exploding, guys! Keep making me watch that and you will think the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man got gunned down again!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Skylar: Well, you've got the marks to prove it. That, or there was one hell of a mosquito in here!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Keith: What is this, the Stepford GAYS? Come on, guys!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Vlad: I'm sorry, I thought this was the room for the climatic orgy scene. I guess we'll have to save that for the uncut version!

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Jonathan: Seriously - I thought liquor got better with age. It just turns into bottled death.

Movie: Kissing Darkness
Skylar: Okay, confess... he let you blow him, didn't he? Or better yet, he sucked you off? Baptized into gaydom with a nice protein smoothie!

Movie: Kissing Darkness