I Dream of Jeannie Quotes

Anthony 'Tony' Nelson: Say, has the weather changed much in the last two thousand years?
Jeannie: Oh, weather is weather. In ancient Persia we had an old saying: "Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it."
Anthony 'Tony' Nelson: You're kidding.
Jeannie: I jest you not, Master.

TV Show: I Dream of Jeannie
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD: You may be an expert in financial matters, Mr. Huggins, but I happen to be an expert in Major Anthony Nelson.

TV Show: I Dream of Jeannie
Jeannie: [introducing Tony to her parents] This is Nelson, flier through the moons of space. This is my mother.

TV Show: I Dream of Jeannie
Jeannie: [to Jeannie II] And make sure you wear BOTH halves of your bikini! [Jeannie II smiles and leaves the apartment]
Dori Green: [after Jeannie II has left] Just curious... which half of the bikini did your sister wear?
Jeannie: The left one.

TV Show: I Dream of Jeannie
Major Margaret Fiefield: [reading Jeannie's test results] Two hundred and fifty words a minute! No one can type that fast.
Jeannie: Oh, that was not typing. That was dictation.
Major Margaret Fiefield: Oh. [looks again at Jeannie's test results]
Major Margaret Fiefield: Two hundred and fifty words a minute... in longhand?
Jeannie: It is easier to read that way. I got a score of four hundred words in typing.
Major Margaret Fiefield: Unbelievable.
Jeannie: I told you I would make a good secretary.

TV Show: I Dream of Jeannie
[Hamid is about to execute CDR Porter, who thinks he's in a mirage]
Jeannie: Cousin Hamid, no! Do not kill him!
Hamid: [approaches Jeannie, Tony, and Roger]
Hamid: The infidel must die.
Hamid: [indicating Tony and Roger] Who are they?
Jeannie: Oh, friends. This is Cousin Hamid. This is my beloved master, Major Nelson, and Major Healey.
Hamid: Welcome to my humble village. My tent is your tent. And now if you'll excuse me, I must cut your friend to ribbons.

TV Show: I Dream of Jeannie