Haunted House Quotes

Michelle: How hard can it be to find a goddamn crematorium? It's on the map, isn't it?

Desmond: I'll get us there.

Michelle: You mean if the house doesn't get us first.

Movie: Haunted House
Sara Wolfe: Is this house really haunted?

Watson Pritchett: [near hysterics] It's uh, well, bleh... hah... yeah, it's pretty scary.

Movie: Haunted House
Steven H. Price: [on his newest rollercoaster] Ever see one that starts at the top? 20 stories worth of top.

Movie: Haunted House
Steven H. Price: [on his newest rollercoaster] Ever see one that starts at the top? 20 stories worth of top.

Movie: Haunted House
Steven H. Price: Come on honey, let's go down and meet your guests.

Evelyn Stockard-Price: You go ahead darling, I'm just going to run boiling hot water over the places you just touched me.

Movie: Haunted House
Steven H. Price: Let's go down and greet your guests. Show them the real you: corny as Kansas on the fourth of July.

Movie: Haunted House
Steven H. Price: Let's go down and greet your guests. Show them the real you: corny as Kansas on the fourth of July.

Movie: Haunted House
Steven H. Price: Sure is a funky old house, ain't it?

Movie: Haunted House
Watson Pritchard: [shows everyone a knife] This is what she used on my brother and her sister, hacked them to pieces. We found parts of their bodies all over the house, in places you wouldn't think. A funny thing is the heads have never been found, hands and feet and things like that, but no heads.

Dr. David Trent: The wife, probably in a fit of rage, threatened her husband with the knife, and then, carried away by hysteria, took a swing at him and simply went on from there.

Lance Schroeder: [laughing] She certainly went on, how many people did she kill, Mr. Pritchard?

Watson Pritchard: Only two, her husband and her sister, nobody else was here.

Lance Schroeder: So there are two loose heads just floating around here someplace?

Watson Pritchard: You can hear them at night, they whisper to each other, and then cry.

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Watson Pritchard: [about the guns they're given] These are no good against the dead, only the living.

Movie: Haunted House
Watson Pritchard: [opening lines] The ghosts are moving tonight, restless... hungry. May I introduce myself? I'm Watson Pritchard. In just a moment I'll show you the only really haunted house in the world. Since it was built a century ago, seven people including my brother have been murdered in it, since then, I've owned the house. I only spent one night then and when they found me in the morning, I... I was almost dead.

Movie: Haunted House
Watson Pritchard: There's been a murder almost everyplace in this house!

Movie: Haunted House
Watson Pritchett: [talking to Eddie] Price didn't make the list, the house did... Cause she's a vengeful stupid whore!
[kicks machinery on last line]

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Watson Pritchett: I lied. The house is alive. We're all gonna die.

Movie: Haunted House
Watson Pritchett: Jesus, she's dead. She was cute too. God, I'd love to get laid before I die.
[Looks at Evelyn]

Watson Pritchett: How you doin' tonight?
[Evelyn gives him a glare]

Watson Pritchett: Yeah, I'm alright.
[Goes back to heavy drinking]

Movie: Haunted House
Watson Pritchett: Jesus, she's dead. She was cute too. God, I'd love to get laid before I die.
[Looks at Evelyn]

Watson Pritchett: How you doin' tonight?
[Evelyn gives him a glare]

Watson Pritchett: Yeah, I'm alright.
[Goes back to heavy drinking]

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Watson Pritchett: Sorry to interrupt. God dammit, you give me my god damn check right now! 'Cuz I want it! So you give it! Now! I'm serious.

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Dr. David Trent: [Nora has encountered the organ that plays by itself and runs screaming through the house] Did you hear anything?

Frederick Loren: Organ music?

Dr. David Trent: That... and someone walking.

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[Hearing the screaming from another part of the house]

Evelyn Stockard-Price: Guess old Melissa found what she was looking for.

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[after Price receives a call from Evelyn]

Channel 3 Reporter: So Mr. Price, business or pleasure?

Steven H. Price: Neither. My wife.

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[Hearing the screaming from another part of the house]

Evelyn Stockard-Price: Guess old Melissa found what she was looking for.

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[Steven Price surprises Eddie, Sara, and Pritchett. Eddie almost shoots Price with his gun]

Eddie Baker: That's a good way to get your head blown off, man!

Steven H. Price: I'll recommend it to Evelyn.

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Annabelle Loren: Dr. Trent, don't you approve of our little party favors?

Dr. David Trent: Suppose Nora had a gun when she was alone in the cellar with the blind woman?

Ruth: Oh I don't think anyone else is going to walk around in total darkness.

Annabelle Loren: Oh I'm sure we're not going to go running around the house shooting each other, aren't you?

Dr. David Trent: Who knows? Fear can make people do amazing things.

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Annabelle Loren: You know, of course, that I'm his fourth wife. The first simply disappeared; the other two died.

Movie: Haunted House
Annabelle Loren: You're in danger here - we all are.

Nora Manning: From who?

Annabelle Loren: I hope for your sake you never find out.

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Ariel Wolfe: The house is gonna do everything in its power to stop us.

Kyle: Of course. Because that's what houses do.

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Eddie Baker: I had nothing to do with this! I was adopted!

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Eddie Baker: Me and you all three. Woowho, lets boogie.

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Eddie Baker: Oh, so then we'll just stay here 'til morning.

Watson Pritchett: [sarcastic] Oh, great. I'm sure we'll all be mutilated beyond recognition by then.

Movie: Haunted House
Eddie Baker: What good is a million dollars when you're dead?

Movie: Haunted House