Good Morning, Vietnam Quotes

Adrian Cronauer: Here's a little advice: Never eat in a Vietnamese restaurant next to a pound.

Movie: Good Morning, Vietnam
Adrian Cronauer: Hey, we're back. That last two seconds of silence was Marcel Marceau's newest hit single, Walkin In The Wind. And now, here are the headlines. Here they come right now. Pope actually found to be Jewish. Liberace is Anastasia and Ethel Merman jams Russian radar. The East Germans, today, claimed the Berlin Wall was a fraternity prank. Also the Pope decided today to release Vatican-related bath products. An incredible thing, yes, it's the new Pope On A Rope. That's right. Pope On A Rope. Wash with it, go straight to heaven. Thank you.

Movie: Good Morning, Vietnam
Adrian Cronauer: Mayday! Mayday! Dragon-Lady with incredible figure at 11 o'clock! Stop the car.
Edward Garlick: I can't do that, sir.
Adrian Cronauer: Aw, Edward, you don't understand. I've been on a small Greek island with a lot of women who look like Zorba, I never thought I'd find women attractive ever again. And now that I do, you won't even turn the car around? Thanks a lot.
Edward Garlick: You have a very important meeting with the top brass...
Adrian Cronauer: -Oh, there she is again! How did she get ahead of us?
Edward Garlick: That's another person, sir.
Adrian Cronauer: She's beautiful and quick. Speed up, check her stamina. Oh my God, they're quick, they're fast, and small. Ha, ha, ha, ha! I feel like a fox in a chicken coop!

Movie: Good Morning, Vietnam
Lt. Steven Hauk: Who do we have slated for live entertainment in November?
Dan 'The Man' Levitan: Well, we originally wanted Bob Hope, but it turns out he won't come.
Lt. Steven Hauk: Why not?
Edward Garlick: He doesn't play police actions, just wars. Bob likes a big room, sir.
Lt. Steven Hauk: That is not funny!
Private Abersold: How about if it escalated?
Lt. Steven Hauk: How about if what escalated?
Private Abersold: The Vietnam conflict.
Lt. Steven Hauk: The Vietnam conflict. We are not going to escalate a whole war just so we can book a big name comedian!

Movie: Good Morning, Vietnam
Lt. Steven Hauk: The former V.P. is a good man and a decent man.
General Taylor: Bullshit! I know Nixon personally. He lugs a trainload of shit behind him that could fertilize the Sinai. Why, I wouldn't buy an apple from the son of a bitch, and I consider him a good, close personal friend.

Movie: Good Morning, Vietnam
[Lt. Steven Hauk uses Army jargon to refer to a press conference to be given by former Vice-President Nixon]
Adrian Cronauer: Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.

Movie: Good Morning, Vietnam