Excuse Me for Living Quotes

Albert: Okay, if I have to give her half the company, I will. She's been my wife for 30 years after all.
David: You already gave her half 5 years ago for estate-planning purposes. Her attorney wants more.
Albert: What! The gold-digger. We've only been married for 30 years.

Movie: Excuse Me for Living
Jacob: Death is forever. It can wait its turn.

Movie: Excuse Me for Living
Jacob: Tell me the first thing that comes to your mind.
Dan: Sex.
Jacob: Now first, you have to look at the inkblot.
Dan: It won't change. It'll still be sex.
Jacob: Look, I am *trying* to help you.
Dan: Okay. Alright. I'll try to be good.
Jacob: Thank you. [shows inkblot]
Jacob: Well? [Dan takes it from his hand]
Dan: Which part of the picture would you like me to X-ray?
Jacob: Would you think that makes a difference?
Dan: Observing the protection of my personality onto the picture is the point of the test. Is it not?
Jacob: Yes, that's correct. Obviously, you've been doing some reading about the subject.
Dan: Well then, are you interested in the anal part of my personality which deals with one portion of the inkblot? Perhaps I should focus on the terrifying savage forms on the lower half. That tells us if I'm alienated.
Jacob: Just tell me what the *whole* picture says to you, would you please?
Dan: It's a porcupine.
Jacob: Oh! At last, some cooperation. And what is the porcupine doing?
Dan: It's playing with its vagina.

Movie: Excuse Me for Living
Albert: For me now, a woman is just like a man... a man who's had a tragic boating accident.

Movie: Excuse Me for Living