Ernest Saves Christmas Quotes

Ernest P. Worell: [first lines; singing as he drives a taxi] Oh, Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, oh Chriiistmas tree. [repeats over and over... and over]
Cab Passenger: Hey, could you hurry it up? I've got a flight to catch!

Movie: Ernest Saves Christmas
Film Studio Gate Guard: [advances toward's Ernest's truck to see what is under the tarp in back] I'd better have a look.
Ernest P. Worell: [disguised as a snake rancher, referring to the venomous snakes under the tarp] Careful, now... them be pisin! [lunges at the guard, who gasps and winces]
Ernest P. Worell: Pisin snakes! One minute, you be a strappin' young man like yerself, an' the next... [imitates a snake's fangs with his fingers]
Ernest P. Worell: SNAP! [swipes his fangs at the guard, who again gasps and winces]
Ernest P. Worell: Yer dead meat!

Movie: Ernest Saves Christmas
Harmony Star: [returning Santa's stolen toy sack, crying] I'm sorry.
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate': Welcome back, Pamela. [hugs her]
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate': I never doubted you would do the right thing.
Harmony Star: Really?
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate': Well... maybe just a little doubt.
Harmony Star: [laughs] I just started thinking... about you, and Ernest... and just a whole lot of things... and I really got things figured out. I even called my mom.
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate': She must have been worried about you.
Harmony Star: Yeah... especially after I told her who I was with. [Santa laughs]

Movie: Ernest Saves Christmas
Restaurant Manager: Hey, wait! I think you forgot something.
Harmony Star: Oh, no, mister, it's not me, it's my brother. He does this to me ALL the time. He takes me out, and he says he's got the money, and then we eat, and he says he's gotta go to the bathroom and he sneaks out just before the check comes in! And I'm left there with no money and this stupid look on my face, but I swear it won't happen again, so just let me go this one time, mister, OK?
Restaurant Manager: Do you honestly expect me to believe that?
Harmony Star: I swear, it's true! Oh, hey, look, it's my brother! See? There he is! Hey, Tommy! [runs away when the manager turns to look]

Movie: Ernest Saves Christmas
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate': [after Ernest has just finished driving suicidally on the freeway and busted a window to rescue one] I take it you really needed a tree?

Movie: Ernest Saves Christmas
Santa Claus, aka 'Seth Applegate': This is Ernest. I'm Santa Claus. [odd silence]
Ernest P. Worell: Surprised?
Harmony Star: Uh, no. No, not - not really.

Movie: Ernest Saves Christmas