Duck Soup Quotes
Rufus T. Firefly : [ on the phone ] Get me headquarters. Not hindquarters, headquarters!
Movie: Duck Soup
[ Firefly emerges from a vase that has been stuck on his head ]
Rufus T. Firefly : Any mail for me while I was gone?
Rufus T. Firefly : Any mail for me while I was gone?
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : Chicolini, I need you badly right now. What'll you take to come back and work for me again?
Chicolini : I'll take a vacation.
Rufus T. Firefly : Good, you're hired.
Chicolini : I'll take a vacation.
Rufus T. Firefly : Good, you're hired.
Movie: Duck Soup
First Judge : That sort of testimony we can eliminate.
Chicolini : Atsa fine. I'll take some.
First Judge : You'll take what?
Chicolini : Eliminate. A nice, cold glass eliminate.
Chicolini : Atsa fine. I'll take some.
First Judge : You'll take what?
Chicolini : Eliminate. A nice, cold glass eliminate.
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : Chicolini, give me a number from one to ten.
Chicolini : Eleven.
Rufus T. Firefly : Right
Chicolini : Eleven.
Rufus T. Firefly : Right
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : Look at Chicolini. He sits there alone, an abject figure...
Chicolini : [ immediately ] I abject!
Chicolini : [ immediately ] I abject!
Movie: Duck Soup
Prosecutor : Chicolini, when were you born?
Chicolini : I don't-a remember. I was just a little baby.
Prosecutor : Isn't it true you tried to sell Freedonia's secret war code and plans?
Chicolini : Sure, I sold a code and two pair of plans.
Chicolini : I don't-a remember. I was just a little baby.
Prosecutor : Isn't it true you tried to sell Freedonia's secret war code and plans?
Chicolini : Sure, I sold a code and two pair of plans.
Movie: Duck Soup
[ Firefly and Mrs. Teasdale hear music coming from downstairs ]
Mrs. Teasdale : What's that?
Rufus T. Firefly : Sounds to me like mice.
Mrs. Teasdale : Mice? Mice don't play music.
Rufus T. Firefly : No? How about the old maestro?
Mrs. Teasdale : What's that?
Rufus T. Firefly : Sounds to me like mice.
Mrs. Teasdale : Mice? Mice don't play music.
Rufus T. Firefly : No? How about the old maestro?
Movie: Duck Soup
Mrs. Teasdale : Your Excellency, I thought you'd left!
Chicolini : Oh no, I no leave.
Mrs. Teasdale : But I saw you with my own eyes!
Chicolini : Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?
Chicolini : Oh no, I no leave.
Mrs. Teasdale : But I saw you with my own eyes!
Chicolini : Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?
Movie: Duck Soup
Vera Marcal : If you're found, you're lost!
Chicolini : Oh, you crazy. How can I be lost if I'm found?
Chicolini : Oh, you crazy. How can I be lost if I'm found?
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : I danced before Napoleon. No, Napoleon danced before me. As a matter of fact, he danced 200 years before me.
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : Here are the plans of war. They're as valuable as your life. And that's putting them pretty cheap. Watch them like a cat watched her kittens. Have you ever had kittens? No, of course not, you're too busy running around playing bridge. Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you, I love you.
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : Take a letter.
Bob Roland : Who to?
Rufus T. Firefly : To my dentist. [ Roland writes out the following ]
Rufus T. Firefly : Uh... Dear dentist, enclosed find check for $500, yours very truly. Send that off immediately.
Bob Roland : I'll, um, I'll have to enclose a check first.
Rufus T. Firefly : You do and I'll fire you.
Bob Roland : Who to?
Rufus T. Firefly : To my dentist. [ Roland writes out the following ]
Rufus T. Firefly : Uh... Dear dentist, enclosed find check for $500, yours very truly. Send that off immediately.
Bob Roland : I'll, um, I'll have to enclose a check first.
Rufus T. Firefly : You do and I'll fire you.
Movie: Duck Soup
Ambassador Trentino : Have we met each other before, sir?
Rufus T. Firefly : I don't think so. In fact, I'm not sure I'm seeing you now; it must be something I ate.
Rufus T. Firefly : I don't think so. In fact, I'm not sure I'm seeing you now; it must be something I ate.
Movie: Duck Soup
Freedonia's Secretary of War : How about taking up the tax?
Rufus T. Firefly : How 'bout taking up the carpet?
Freedonia's Secretary of War : I still insist we must take up the tax.
Rufus T. Firefly : He's right, you've gotta take up the tacks before you can take up the carpet.
Rufus T. Firefly : How 'bout taking up the carpet?
Freedonia's Secretary of War : I still insist we must take up the tax.
Rufus T. Firefly : He's right, you've gotta take up the tacks before you can take up the carpet.
Movie: Duck Soup
Chicolini : [ trying to decide if himself, Firefly, Pinky, or Bob Roland will make a suicidal run into no-mans-land to get help ] I gots an idea. We have a runspot to see who we choose to go. Rrrrrrringspot! One-sa, two-sa, zig-zag-zav, poptie, gimmega, tin-lie, tav, harem, scarem, moychan, tarem, tare, tore... [ realizes that he's about to land on himself ]
Chicolini : I did it wrong. Wait, wait, wait... I start here! Rrrrrrringspot! One-sa, two-sa, zig-zag-zav, poptie, gimmega, tin-lie, tav, harem, scarem, moychan, tarem, tare, tore... [ realizes he's about to land on himself again ]
Chicolini : That's a-no good too! Oh, I got it! Rrrringspot, BUCK! [ points to Pinky ]
Chicolini : Good luck!
Chicolini : I did it wrong. Wait, wait, wait... I start here! Rrrrrrringspot! One-sa, two-sa, zig-zag-zav, poptie, gimmega, tin-lie, tav, harem, scarem, moychan, tarem, tare, tore... [ realizes he's about to land on himself again ]
Chicolini : That's a-no good too! Oh, I got it! Rrrringspot, BUCK! [ points to Pinky ]
Chicolini : Good luck!
Movie: Duck Soup
Mrs. Teasdale : Oh, your Excellency!
Rufus T. Firefly : You're not so bad yourself.
Rufus T. Firefly : You're not so bad yourself.
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : I'd be unworthy of the high trust that's been placed in me if I didn't do everything in my power to keep our beloved Freedonia in peace with the world. I'd be only too happy to meet with Ambassador Trentino, and offer him on behalf of my country the right hand of good fellowship. And I feel sure he will accept this gesture in the spirit of which it is offered. But suppose he doesn't. A fine thing that'll be. I hold out my hand and he refuses to accept. That'll add a lot to my prestige, won't it? Me, the head of a country, snubbed by a foreign ambassador. Who does he think he is, that he can come here, and make a sap of me in front of all my people? Think of it - I hold out my hand and that hyena refuses to accept. Why, the cheap four-flushing swine, he'll never get away with it I tell you, he'll never get away with it. [ Trentino enters ]
Rufus T. Firefly : So, you refuse to shake hands with me, eh? [ slaps Trentino with his glove ]
Rufus T. Firefly : So, you refuse to shake hands with me, eh? [ slaps Trentino with his glove ]
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : Dig trenches, with our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made. Here, run out and get some trenches. Wait a minute, get 'em this high... [ gestures to his chin ]
Rufus T. Firefly : and our soldiers won't need any pants. Wait a minute, get 'em this high... [ gestures over his head ]
Rufus T. Firefly : and we won't need any soldiers!
Rufus T. Firefly : and our soldiers won't need any pants. Wait a minute, get 'em this high... [ gestures over his head ]
Rufus T. Firefly : and we won't need any soldiers!
Movie: Duck Soup