Deathgasm Quotes

Abigail: The possessed bodies, they kill all in their path in preparation for Aeloth's ascension on the next blood moon. On the Devil's hour.
Brodie: Oh shit, the moon is red tonight. When is the Devil's hour?
Abigail: Three AM.
Zakk: Three AM Pacific or Eastern time? Do demons recognize daylight savings?

Movie: Deathgasm
David: Oh Christ, it's my Satanist cousin, Brodie. Look at that ugly loner. I'm gonna make his life hell on earth.
Medina: Wow. That's really cool, David. Can you please take me home now?
David: I thought we'd take a drive or something.
Medina: It's hard to believe, but talking about bullying isn't really a turn on.

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: Do you - do you like metal?
Medina: Um, isn't it just a bunch of guys screaming?
Brodie: No way! Well... apart from grindcore. And death metal is kind of like that. And deathcore, screamo, pornogrind, black metal, metalcore, thrash, and mordorcore. But apart from those...
Medina: It's just not my thing. I don't really get it.
Brodie: It's like, when life sucks, and you feel alone and empty. You stick on some metal and life is better, because... because somebody else knows the pain and the rage that you're going through, y'know?

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: My uncle Albert was balls-deep into Jesus. He thought Ricky Martin was heavy. He heard me cranking some Disemboweled Corpse and he hasn't slept for days.

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: Hey David - I saw Uncle Albert washing your sheets this morning. You shit the bed or something?
David: Fuckin' devil-worshiper. I can't wait until my dad kicks you out on the streets and you've got to blow truck drivers for food like your psycho mum.

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: Jesus. Who's that?
Dion: Medina Darcy... Uhh, no dude...
Brodie: What do you mean, no?
Dion: No way are you tapping that. Chicks like that don't go out with metalheads. They bang apes like your cousin.

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: My friends are losers, my uncle keeps trying to christen me in my sleep, and I'm drenched in my cousin's bodily fluids.

Movie: Deathgasm
Mr. Capenhurst: Good work Brodie. Nice technique. Great shading on the demon penises. Is that me having hot pokers stuffed up m rectum by skeletons?
Brodie: Yes, sir.
Mr. Capenhurst: Nice likeness .Very detailed. Two weeks detention.

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: Does anybody want anything from the shop?
Zakk: Condoms, Vaseline, jumper cables, and ammonium nitrate.
Brodie: I don't think they sell that combination of things.

Movie: Deathgasm
Medina: Are you stealing petrol?
Zakk: No. I'm stealing diesel.
Medina: Well don't you feel guilty?
Zakk: No.

Movie: Deathgasm
Terry: The Blind One is coming. He's going to suck out your intestines for a thousand years and use your ribs as toothpicks.
Brodie: Um... okay.
Terry: Did I mention he's going to roast your nuts over an open fire? While they are still attached, of course.
Brodie: No, Terry. You didn't mention that.
Terry: Well, he is.

Movie: Deathgasm
Byron: Welcome to Alien Records. How are things, kid?
Brodie: Things are shitty.

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: When is the devil's hour?
Abigail: 3 a.m.
Zakk: Wait. 3 a.m. Pacific or Eastern Time? Do demons recognize daylight savings?

Movie: Deathgasm
Zakk: Hey man, you wanna do something crazy?
Brodie: It's not role-playing, is it?
Zakk: What the fuck is role-playing?

Movie: Deathgasm
Zakk: Got it! dethgasm All spelt in capitals. Lower case is for pussies.
Brodie: Cool. What about...
Brodie: I fucking said dethgasm!

Movie: Deathgasm
Zakk: Pretty sure he wasn't possessed.
Brodie: What? Oh no. Of course he was. Because when he came in he said something about Satan. You didn't hear him say that?

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: Sick, man!
Zakk: What? They were like that when I found them.

Movie: Deathgasm
Zakk: Medina is never gonna put out for you, man. You're never gonna get to second base with that girl.
Brodie: What?
Zakk: You know - anal.
Brodie: Okay, I don't want to know what you think fourth base is.

Movie: Deathgasm
Rikki Daggers: Aeon sent you, didn't he? When are you occultist cunts ever gonna fuckin' learn?
Brodie: No, we're just... we're just metalheads. We're fans.

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: It's music.
Zakk: Can you read it?
Brodie: Yeah, I think so. It's pretty universal. It's really old. Holy fuck. Look at the title.
Zakk: What the fuck does it say?
Brodie: Don't know. I think it's Latin.
Zakk: What, like Dora the fuckin' Explorer?
Brodie: No. Like, like, Romans and shit.

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: Okay, so all the shit is in my room, all right? But watch out for my aunt and uncle because they hate you. And, also, they might be demons.

Movie: Deathgasm
Aeon: Take his fucking head off.
Vadin: No!
Aeon: Oh, come on! That's a custom-made Sartori rug, idiots. You put a tarp down first!

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: Y'know, I'm not even sure I'm in the right tuning.

Movie: Deathgasm
Zakk: All right, look, I'm gonna help you do this, but only because you suck at it. Also, it's kind of fun stabbing shit.

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: Motherfucker!
Medina: Brodie, just leave it.
Brodie: Fucking wanker! You knew I liked her.
Zakk: Calm the fuck down, all right? I'm not even into her. I was just bored.
Brodie: Oh well, that's supposed to make it fucking better? What happened to Brotherhood of Steel?

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: You don't know what you're doing. The whole town is overrun with fucking demons.
Shanna: We know exactly what we are doing. Give me the vogue catty quaff wrecks demony.
Dion: It's actually pronounced vocavitque rex daemonia.

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: I thought you were off to the lookout to watch the town burn.
Zakk: Realized I couldn't leave my mate in the shit. Not with all these demons to mega-kill. Metalheads stick together, right?
Medina: Whoa, wait. You decided that you wanted to help us, and then you went and applied makeup? Well, how long did that take? What ten - fifteen minutes?
Zakk: It's not makeup. It's fucking corpse paint. For going into battle.
Medina: Okay. Well, you look adorable. It really brings out your eyes.

Movie: Deathgasm
Brodie: Okay, I don't want to know what you think fourth base is.
Zakk: No, I don't.

Movie: Deathgasm
Zakk: Brood?
Brodie: Brood as fuck!

Movie: Deathgasm
Zakk: I bags that record.
Brodie: Dude, that's low.
Zakk: I can go much lower.

Movie: Deathgasm