Dean Quotes
Carol: Well, let's see if we got any more... potential bidders.
Robert: Wait, wait, wait. What was that? That looked like you. [puts on glasses]
Carol: You don't want to... [chuckles]
Carol: That's embarrassing.
Robert: What is that?
Carol: My charming sister decided to create an online dating profile for me, and I spent much of yesterday trying to take a usable photo to throw myself a strangers online.
Robert: I'm just curious. 'I like listening to jazz, take - ' Oh, sophisticated. 'Taking long walks... forests. One of your interests is 'forests'?
Carol: I've - well, I like...
Robert: You're interests is forests?
Carol: Well, I like nature and trees and, like, being out in nature.
Robert: Oh, I see. Oh, yeah, of course. Well, sure.
Carol: Was that - Does that sound weird?
Robert: No, I... I just don't...
Carol: Should I just have said trees?
Robert: No, no, forests - I see. I just did - You - - -The wording. You don't want to attract, like, a lumberjack or a hermit or a...
Carol: A lumberjack who's online dating? I don't think I have to worry about that.
Robert: If you said 'I like taking long, shady walks', that implies for us.
Carol: That sounds threatening like I'm a mugger or something.
Robert: Wait, wait, wait. What was that? That looked like you. [puts on glasses]
Carol: You don't want to... [chuckles]
Carol: That's embarrassing.
Robert: What is that?
Carol: My charming sister decided to create an online dating profile for me, and I spent much of yesterday trying to take a usable photo to throw myself a strangers online.
Robert: I'm just curious. 'I like listening to jazz, take - ' Oh, sophisticated. 'Taking long walks... forests. One of your interests is 'forests'?
Carol: I've - well, I like...
Robert: You're interests is forests?
Carol: Well, I like nature and trees and, like, being out in nature.
Robert: Oh, I see. Oh, yeah, of course. Well, sure.
Carol: Was that - Does that sound weird?
Robert: No, I... I just don't...
Carol: Should I just have said trees?
Robert: No, no, forests - I see. I just did - You - - -The wording. You don't want to attract, like, a lumberjack or a hermit or a...
Carol: A lumberjack who's online dating? I don't think I have to worry about that.
Robert: If you said 'I like taking long, shady walks', that implies for us.
Carol: That sounds threatening like I'm a mugger or something.
Movie: Dean
Carol: I think I'm gonna sell your house and leave the online dating to someone else.
Robert: I'm sorry.
Carol: Let me see if we got you any more offers...
Robert: Okay.
Carol: Or interests or calls.
Robert: I'm sorry.
Carol: Let me see if we got you any more offers...
Robert: Okay.
Carol: Or interests or calls.
Movie: Dean
Robert: [phone rings]Oh, my God, that's my - it's my new phone. [reaches phone out of his pocket]
Robert: Sorry. Here we go. I-I can't talk now. I'm with my son. You see, I'm busy?
Dean: It can't see you. It's - It's more of a voice thing.
Robert: Oh, you think it can't see me? Yeah, dream on. They know what's going on at the other end of this thing. There. [camera flashes]
Robert: Oh, I just took a picture of my sandwich. Okay, hang on. Hang on. Come on.
Robert: [turns off phone]Oh, good.
Dean: Smooth.
Robert: Sorry. Here we go. I-I can't talk now. I'm with my son. You see, I'm busy?
Dean: It can't see you. It's - It's more of a voice thing.
Robert: Oh, you think it can't see me? Yeah, dream on. They know what's going on at the other end of this thing. There. [camera flashes]
Robert: Oh, I just took a picture of my sandwich. Okay, hang on. Hang on. Come on.
Robert: [turns off phone]Oh, good.
Dean: Smooth.
Movie: Dean
Dean: [seeing a cat in a room]Whoa! What the hell is this?
Eric: What? [he looks at the cat]
Eric: I have a cat. You know that.
Dean: No, I did not know that. I do now, though, and I'll never forget it.
Eric: Yeah, I'll share my room with Nicholas. He loves this shit.
Eric: What? [he looks at the cat]
Eric: I have a cat. You know that.
Dean: No, I did not know that. I do now, though, and I'll never forget it.
Eric: Yeah, I'll share my room with Nicholas. He loves this shit.
Movie: Dean
Robert: I just don't know what you're doing.
Dean: What am I supposed to be doing? I just took a trip, and now I'm here.
Robert: Even when you're here, you're not here. Wherever you are, I need you to come back.
Dean: Okay, er, to where? Should I come home maybe? Oh, I forgot. You sold your house. You sold Mom's house while I was away, so that's gone.
Robert: Oh, I see. I get it. I see the problem. What exactly did you want me to do? Just go on living there alone?
Dean: No, I don't know what I want you to do. I just-I want to stop living under this cloud. I want to stop talking about life and death and how I'm not grieving right. We're not helping each other, so why don't we just stop?
Robert: Okay. No, I think that sounds very healthy. I'm glad we had this talk.
Dean: What am I supposed to be doing? I just took a trip, and now I'm here.
Robert: Even when you're here, you're not here. Wherever you are, I need you to come back.
Dean: Okay, er, to where? Should I come home maybe? Oh, I forgot. You sold your house. You sold Mom's house while I was away, so that's gone.
Robert: Oh, I see. I get it. I see the problem. What exactly did you want me to do? Just go on living there alone?
Dean: No, I don't know what I want you to do. I just-I want to stop living under this cloud. I want to stop talking about life and death and how I'm not grieving right. We're not helping each other, so why don't we just stop?
Robert: Okay. No, I think that sounds very healthy. I'm glad we had this talk.
Movie: Dean
Carol: Well, you know, you had a really good relator.
Robert: Yes, well done.
Carol: To full asking price. [they both clink their wine glasses]
Robert: Oh, full asking price, yes. Now how do I break the news to my son?
Carol: Mmm. Well, we could ask for some extra time before closing. People are understanding about that.
Robert: He's just been on loose ends, kind of, you know, missing in action for a while. Now he's in L.A. I don't know what he's doing. I keep thinking he's gonna come home with a Mohawk and face piercings.
Carol: People still get Mohawks?
Robert: Oh, if Dean thought he would help him not get a job, he'd get two Mohawks.
Carol: [chuckles]How do you - How do you get two Mohawks? I...
Robert: You put two Mohawks together, and you... [He motions two Mohawks around his head. Carol laughs]
Robert: I don't know. It'd be sort of an X, look like a heliport.
Carol: Maybe he's just trying to figure himself out.
Robert: Yeah, he's been trying for a while. [sighs]
Robert: I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking about this. I don't want to cross any lines.
Carol: Don't be silly. You've already crossed those lines, and that's okay.
Robert: Okay.
Robert: Yes, well done.
Carol: To full asking price. [they both clink their wine glasses]
Robert: Oh, full asking price, yes. Now how do I break the news to my son?
Carol: Mmm. Well, we could ask for some extra time before closing. People are understanding about that.
Robert: He's just been on loose ends, kind of, you know, missing in action for a while. Now he's in L.A. I don't know what he's doing. I keep thinking he's gonna come home with a Mohawk and face piercings.
Carol: People still get Mohawks?
Robert: Oh, if Dean thought he would help him not get a job, he'd get two Mohawks.
Carol: [chuckles]How do you - How do you get two Mohawks? I...
Robert: You put two Mohawks together, and you... [He motions two Mohawks around his head. Carol laughs]
Robert: I don't know. It'd be sort of an X, look like a heliport.
Carol: Maybe he's just trying to figure himself out.
Robert: Yeah, he's been trying for a while. [sighs]
Robert: I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking about this. I don't want to cross any lines.
Carol: Don't be silly. You've already crossed those lines, and that's okay.
Robert: Okay.
Movie: Dean
Nicky: Hi.
Dean: How are you? [hugs Jill]
Dean: It's good to see you. Hey.
Nicky: Hi, you, too. You remember my friend Jill from the party the other night?
Dean: Yeah, hey, Jill.
Jill: Hey.
Dean: Hey. Okay. [they shake hands]
Nicky: She wanted to see the show, too. So...
Dean: Cool. So...
Jill: You were wearing that same outfit the last time I saw you.
Dean: Yes, I was. Thank you for pointing that out. I appreciate that.
Jill: We, need to find a restroom like, right now.
Nicky: Oh, yeah, number one only.
Dean: How are you? [hugs Jill]
Dean: It's good to see you. Hey.
Nicky: Hi, you, too. You remember my friend Jill from the party the other night?
Dean: Yeah, hey, Jill.
Jill: Hey.
Dean: Hey. Okay. [they shake hands]
Nicky: She wanted to see the show, too. So...
Dean: Cool. So...
Jill: You were wearing that same outfit the last time I saw you.
Dean: Yes, I was. Thank you for pointing that out. I appreciate that.
Jill: We, need to find a restroom like, right now.
Nicky: Oh, yeah, number one only.
Movie: Dean
Dean: [pretending to be on the phone]Oh, yeah, hey - Just a sec. Yeah, I can be there in, like, ten minutes. Yeah, totally. [his phone rings]
Dean: Weird reception out here.
Nicky: Yeah, in your face so hard.
Dean: I was just doing a bit.
Nicky: Are you gonna stay, or are you gonna go?
Dean: I'll stay.
Nicky: Phew, what a relief.
Dean: Yeah.
Dean: Weird reception out here.
Nicky: Yeah, in your face so hard.
Dean: I was just doing a bit.
Nicky: Are you gonna stay, or are you gonna go?
Dean: I'll stay.
Nicky: Phew, what a relief.
Dean: Yeah.
Movie: Dean
Robert: I-I'm sorry. I - [chuckles]
Robert: I'm sort of stuck here. I don't think I can...
Carol: I shouldn't have made the first move. I think I was too forward.
Robert: No, no, no, no, no. I - I don't know what it is, but it's... I really like you. No, and...
Carol: But? [pause]
Robert: But - Well, the truth is... I don't quite know who I am. You know, since... Since my... My wife...
Carol: Oh.
Robert: Do you understand? I mean... It seemed like a good idea.
Carol: Of course. I get it. That is just my luck, man. I finally meet a guy I really like and turns out he's married.
Robert: I guess that's it, yeah.
Carol: Good night, Robert.
Robert: I'm sort of stuck here. I don't think I can...
Carol: I shouldn't have made the first move. I think I was too forward.
Robert: No, no, no, no, no. I - I don't know what it is, but it's... I really like you. No, and...
Carol: But? [pause]
Robert: But - Well, the truth is... I don't quite know who I am. You know, since... Since my... My wife...
Carol: Oh.
Robert: Do you understand? I mean... It seemed like a good idea.
Carol: Of course. I get it. That is just my luck, man. I finally meet a guy I really like and turns out he's married.
Robert: I guess that's it, yeah.
Carol: Good night, Robert.
Movie: Dean
[first lines] Voicemail: [beeps]Next saved message.
Karen, Dean's Mother: Hey, Dean, it's Mom. I just wanted to tell your dad and I had the best time with you and Michelle last night. It was so fun visiting you guys in Brooklyn. Anyway, I'll talk to you soon and love you, bye. [phone beeps]
Voicemail: Message saved. [voicemail beeps once more]
Robert: Hi, it's your dad. I'm, er, hoping you're alive. If so, call me because I have some important news.
Voicemail: [phone beeps]Message erased.
Karen, Dean's Mother: Hey, Dean, it's Mom. I just wanted to tell your dad and I had the best time with you and Michelle last night. It was so fun visiting you guys in Brooklyn. Anyway, I'll talk to you soon and love you, bye. [phone beeps]
Voicemail: Message saved. [voicemail beeps once more]
Robert: Hi, it's your dad. I'm, er, hoping you're alive. If so, call me because I have some important news.
Voicemail: [phone beeps]Message erased.
Movie: Dean
Dean: [on voicemail]Hey, you've reached Dean. I can't come to my phone right now.
Robert: [trying to reach Dean]Thank you.
Dean: But here's my best robot impression: [voicemail beeps tone]
Robert: Hi, it's your dad. Please call me. It's important. I have some news.
Robert: [trying to reach Dean]Thank you.
Dean: But here's my best robot impression: [voicemail beeps tone]
Robert: Hi, it's your dad. Please call me. It's important. I have some news.
Movie: Dean
Eric: Have you had Smoothie King?
Dean: Huh? It's funny. It's always a king.
Eric: What?
Dean: You know, Smoothie King, Burger King, Mattress King. If you're selling something, it has to be a king. Smoothie Duke? Nope. Burger Prime Minister? You can't do it.
Eric: What about Dairy Queen? That works.
Dean: Yeah, okay, that's one.
Dean: Huh? It's funny. It's always a king.
Eric: What?
Dean: You know, Smoothie King, Burger King, Mattress King. If you're selling something, it has to be a king. Smoothie Duke? Nope. Burger Prime Minister? You can't do it.
Eric: What about Dairy Queen? That works.
Dean: Yeah, okay, that's one.
Movie: Dean
Carol: [pointing a scratch on the couch]Cat?
Robert: Oh, no, that's - [chuckles]
Robert: That's my son. My son, yeah. He's - He's an adult now, at least numerically, but - and completely house-trained.
Robert: Oh, no, that's - [chuckles]
Robert: That's my son. My son, yeah. He's - He's an adult now, at least numerically, but - and completely house-trained.
Movie: Dean
Carol: Why don't I look for some listings, and we'll maybe look at some places later this week?
Robert: All right, sounds good.
Carol: Yeah?
Robert: It's a date.
Robert: All right, sounds good.
Carol: Yeah?
Robert: It's a date.
Movie: Dean
[last lines] Dean: Dear Eric, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know Nicholas was more than a cat, he was a good friend and he offered you great support. Losing him probably feels like losing a part of yourself. I've been there. In the coming months, you might feel more lost than you do now and you might feel like you need to run away from all the heaviness for a while. Maybe you'll fly across the country to escape the pain, and maybe while you're away you're dad will go and sell all of your cat furniture, the last real link you thought you had to Nicholas. It might be hard to understand now, but maybe your dad did it because he just needed to do it to move forward. I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel better, but the hard truth is that Nicholas is gone, and there's nothing that will bring him back. Not old cat furniture, personal belongings, or even voice messages from him that you've carefully saved. Nothing can replace him, but that doesn't mean you won't be okay again. You know, when you lose someone, it can make you feel so alone... But there's one thing I've learned: if you really love them, you never lose them. Especially if they had a strong spirit. Anyway, here's a copy of my new book. I can't say it holds any answers, but maybe it'll give you a laugh and that's worth something. Take care of yourself, buddy. Your friend, Dean.
Movie: Dean
Phone Store Salesman: And this dinosaur no longer roams the Earth.
Robert: Really? Since when?
Phone Store Salesman: About eight years ago. I can set you up with basically an update version of that, which is this one right here. Do you watch TV?
Robert: Yeah, I watch TV.
Phone Store Salesman: You can watch TV on the phone.
Robert: I'll just watch it on my TV.
Robert: Really? Since when?
Phone Store Salesman: About eight years ago. I can set you up with basically an update version of that, which is this one right here. Do you watch TV?
Robert: Yeah, I watch TV.
Phone Store Salesman: You can watch TV on the phone.
Robert: I'll just watch it on my TV.
Movie: Dean
Dean: Dad, I wanted to talk to you.
Robert: About the house?
Dean: No. You were right. I disappeared for a while.
Robert: It's okay. You don't need to apologize.
Dean: No, I do. I was running and I'm sorry. I just... [beat]
Dean: You know, I think about Mom every day. I'll pass that bookstore where we used to meet up, or smell her perfume, or just... It's just... She's everywhere, you know? No matter what I do, I just keep thinking about her every day. Even when I try not to. So many things remind me of her, and... Dad, I can't imagine what you've been going through. [He hugs Robert]
Dean: I'm sorry.
Robert: It's okay. It's okay. I know. I know. It's okay.
Dean: I'm sorry.
Robert: No. No, no. Sit down.
Dean: I'm worried about you.
Robert: I know you are, but don't worry about me. I'm gonna be fine. I'm not sure when, but I'm sure I'm gonna be fine.
Dean: Yeah.
Robert: I miss your mom a lot. That's not gonna stop, but I can't tell you how lucky I feel that I got to be with her as long as I did.
Dean: Yeah.
Robert: And how lucky I feel that we had you. It's good to have you back. Don't disappear on me, okay?
Dean: I won't. You, too.
Robert: Oh, I'm not gonna disappear. You know where to find me. I'm here. It's a deal [they shake hands]
Dean: Okay.
Robert: About the house?
Dean: No. You were right. I disappeared for a while.
Robert: It's okay. You don't need to apologize.
Dean: No, I do. I was running and I'm sorry. I just... [beat]
Dean: You know, I think about Mom every day. I'll pass that bookstore where we used to meet up, or smell her perfume, or just... It's just... She's everywhere, you know? No matter what I do, I just keep thinking about her every day. Even when I try not to. So many things remind me of her, and... Dad, I can't imagine what you've been going through. [He hugs Robert]
Dean: I'm sorry.
Robert: It's okay. It's okay. I know. I know. It's okay.
Dean: I'm sorry.
Robert: No. No, no. Sit down.
Dean: I'm worried about you.
Robert: I know you are, but don't worry about me. I'm gonna be fine. I'm not sure when, but I'm sure I'm gonna be fine.
Dean: Yeah.
Robert: I miss your mom a lot. That's not gonna stop, but I can't tell you how lucky I feel that I got to be with her as long as I did.
Dean: Yeah.
Robert: And how lucky I feel that we had you. It's good to have you back. Don't disappear on me, okay?
Dean: I won't. You, too.
Robert: Oh, I'm not gonna disappear. You know where to find me. I'm here. It's a deal [they shake hands]
Dean: Okay.
Movie: Dean
Eric: I don't live in Hollywood. I live in Echo Park.
Dean: Echo Park? Well... sounds very empty.
Dean: Echo Park? Well... sounds very empty.
Movie: Dean
Dean: You never told me your name.
Nicky: Oh, well, it starts with an N and it ends with icky.
Dean: Hmm... you're very cryptic... like sudoku.
Nicky: Yeah, I like to cultivate an air of mystery around myself.
Dean: I do very similar with deodorant.
Nicky: Oh, well, it starts with an N and it ends with icky.
Dean: Hmm... you're very cryptic... like sudoku.
Nicky: Yeah, I like to cultivate an air of mystery around myself.
Dean: I do very similar with deodorant.
Movie: Dean
Dean: I wanna date her.
Eric: Date her? Let's slow down 1955, okay. Let's just try to sleep with her first.
Eric: Date her? Let's slow down 1955, okay. Let's just try to sleep with her first.
Movie: Dean
Robert: When are you getting a haircut? I've not seen your forehead in 15 years.
Dean: With the hair again?
Robert: You're living in the '60's. [He demonstrates life in the '60s with the hair and Hare Krishna thing]
Dean: What is that? Was that the '60's?
Robert: Yeah. [demonstrates slide whistle]
Robert: It's done.
Dean: I'm in the conga line and I'm playing a slide whistle.
Robert: That wasn't the conga line. I was doing the Hare Krishna thing.
Dean: It looks like a conga line.
Robert: I see.
Dean: With the hair again?
Robert: You're living in the '60's. [He demonstrates life in the '60s with the hair and Hare Krishna thing]
Dean: What is that? Was that the '60's?
Robert: Yeah. [demonstrates slide whistle]
Robert: It's done.
Dean: I'm in the conga line and I'm playing a slide whistle.
Robert: That wasn't the conga line. I was doing the Hare Krishna thing.
Dean: It looks like a conga line.
Robert: I see.
Movie: Dean
Robert: Look, I'm... I'm going to talk to you about, some news.
Dean: Mm-hmm?
Robert: I'm gonna sell the house.
Dean: What are you talking about?
Robert: I'm selling the house.
Dean: You're just out of the blue gonna sell our house?
Robert: It's not out of the blue. I've given it some thought, ok? I can't live there. It's-it's ridiculous. It makes no sense for me to stay there. It's too big.
Dean: It's too big?
Robert: Yeah.
Dean: Could you just like not use all the rooms or something? Maybe you could like, I don't know, cover up the furniture in some of the rooms under there with sheets. Just don't go in there.
Robert: Wha - Like I'm a countess?
Dean: I don't know. I just think this is hasty, you know? We need to talk about this. I grew up there. I don't want to just sell our house.
Robert: Dean, It... [phone rings]
Dean: Mm-hmm?
Robert: I'm gonna sell the house.
Dean: What are you talking about?
Robert: I'm selling the house.
Dean: You're just out of the blue gonna sell our house?
Robert: It's not out of the blue. I've given it some thought, ok? I can't live there. It's-it's ridiculous. It makes no sense for me to stay there. It's too big.
Dean: It's too big?
Robert: Yeah.
Dean: Could you just like not use all the rooms or something? Maybe you could like, I don't know, cover up the furniture in some of the rooms under there with sheets. Just don't go in there.
Robert: Wha - Like I'm a countess?
Dean: I don't know. I just think this is hasty, you know? We need to talk about this. I grew up there. I don't want to just sell our house.
Robert: Dean, It... [phone rings]
Movie: Dean
Robert: [on voicemail]Hello, you have reached Robert. Sorry I missed your call, Please leave a message, and I'll do my best to return it as soon as I can.
Movie: Dean
Dean: [on the phone]Hey, Dad.
Robert: Oh, you're there. Are you back?
Dean: No, I'm still in LA. I decided to stay a bit longer
Robert: What are you doing out there.
Dean: Just working on my tan. I was gonna maybe get my chest waxed.
Robert: You are?
Dean: No, I'm just catching up with Eric and just trying to take a little break, just - I'm out here.
Robert: A break from what?
Dean: You know, just everything at home. Things are kind of heavy. I just want to get a little breather.
Robert: I see. No, it's a good idea. Why don't you go on to Hawaii?
Dean: Okay, I'm not on vacation. I'm still working on my new book. You know, I can do that from here, too.
Robert: I need to talk to you about the house.
Dean: Okay, okay, right, yeah. Let's talk about the house.
Robert: We had an open house and...
Dean: Whoa, wait, wait. We were gonna make the decision about the house together.
Robert: Yeah, we did. I did. And I - Since you decided to run away.
Dean: Okay, I didn't run away. I came to meet those ad people. Can we just not do anything about the house until I get back? Okay?
Robert: Okay.
Robert: Oh, you're there. Are you back?
Dean: No, I'm still in LA. I decided to stay a bit longer
Robert: What are you doing out there.
Dean: Just working on my tan. I was gonna maybe get my chest waxed.
Robert: You are?
Dean: No, I'm just catching up with Eric and just trying to take a little break, just - I'm out here.
Robert: A break from what?
Dean: You know, just everything at home. Things are kind of heavy. I just want to get a little breather.
Robert: I see. No, it's a good idea. Why don't you go on to Hawaii?
Dean: Okay, I'm not on vacation. I'm still working on my new book. You know, I can do that from here, too.
Robert: I need to talk to you about the house.
Dean: Okay, okay, right, yeah. Let's talk about the house.
Robert: We had an open house and...
Dean: Whoa, wait, wait. We were gonna make the decision about the house together.
Robert: Yeah, we did. I did. And I - Since you decided to run away.
Dean: Okay, I didn't run away. I came to meet those ad people. Can we just not do anything about the house until I get back? Okay?
Robert: Okay.
Movie: Dean