Chef! Quote
Health Inspector: You have a cracked tile on your wall, Mr. Blackstock. It was there last month.
Gareth Blackstock: A cracked tile?
Health Inspector: Just above the skirting board.
Gareth Blackstock: Should I evacuate the building?
Health Inspector: Just have it replaced by next time.
Gareth Blackstock: Just tell me how is a cracked tile going to wipe out my clientele?
Health Inspector: Bacteria collects in the cracks. Food may come into contact with it.
Gareth Blackstock: Ah, but bacteria may collect in the grout, all over the kitchen. They've got us surrounded, these bacteria.
Health Inspector: That's so Mr. Blackstock. Which is why, as from next year, it will no longer be acceptable.
Gareth Blackstock: What...?
Health Inspector: As from next year...
Gareth Blackstock: You don't mean they're going to outlaw grouting?!
Health Inspector: Exactly. Continuous impervious surfacing will be mandatory.
Gareth Blackstock: Well that's it isn't it, really? I mean that's the bottom line. That's what you people want, all over the planet: continuous impervious surfacing. Only trouble is, if it ever did break, health inspectors would collect in the cracks!
Winky Waterman: Gareth Henry Blackstock?
Gareth Blackstock: I am indeed, and I'm in the middle of service. So, if you don't vacate my kitchen immediately, I'll serve some warm cheese on a wooden chopping board and you won't see the morning.
Winky Waterman: Gareth Henry Blackstock...
Gareth Blackstock: I'll set my cracked tile loose on you!
Winky Waterman: My name is...
Gareth Blackstock: Problems with the hearing, eh? There's the door. You: walk through it, closey-closey after you. Otherwise, blood everywhere. Even in the groutin
Gareth Blackstock: A cracked tile?
Health Inspector: Just above the skirting board.
Gareth Blackstock: Should I evacuate the building?
Health Inspector: Just have it replaced by next time.
Gareth Blackstock: Just tell me how is a cracked tile going to wipe out my clientele?
Health Inspector: Bacteria collects in the cracks. Food may come into contact with it.
Gareth Blackstock: Ah, but bacteria may collect in the grout, all over the kitchen. They've got us surrounded, these bacteria.
Health Inspector: That's so Mr. Blackstock. Which is why, as from next year, it will no longer be acceptable.
Gareth Blackstock: What...?
Health Inspector: As from next year...
Gareth Blackstock: You don't mean they're going to outlaw grouting?!
Health Inspector: Exactly. Continuous impervious surfacing will be mandatory.
Gareth Blackstock: Well that's it isn't it, really? I mean that's the bottom line. That's what you people want, all over the planet: continuous impervious surfacing. Only trouble is, if it ever did break, health inspectors would collect in the cracks!
Winky Waterman: Gareth Henry Blackstock?
Gareth Blackstock: I am indeed, and I'm in the middle of service. So, if you don't vacate my kitchen immediately, I'll serve some warm cheese on a wooden chopping board and you won't see the morning.
Winky Waterman: Gareth Henry Blackstock...
Gareth Blackstock: I'll set my cracked tile loose on you!
Winky Waterman: My name is...
Gareth Blackstock: Problems with the hearing, eh? There's the door. You: walk through it, closey-closey after you. Otherwise, blood everywhere. Even in the groutin
TV Show: Chef!
