Fred A. Allen Quotes

Fred A. Allen Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Fred A. Allen quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Fred A. Allen. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.

By Fred A. Allen
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

By Fred A. Allen
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

By Fred A. Allen
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 p.m. to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.

By Fred A. Allen
I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and -- I can't remember what the third thing is.

By Fred A. Allen
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

By Fred A. Allen
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

By Fred A. Allen
It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.

By Fred A. Allen
A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

By Fred A. Allen
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

By Fred A. Allen
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

By Fred A. Allen
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.

By Fred A. Allen
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

By Fred A. Allen
A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

By Fred A. Allen
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.

By Fred A. Allen
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

By Fred A. Allen
Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

By Fred A. Allen
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

By Fred A. Allen
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

By Fred A. Allen
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

By Fred A. Allen