Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey Quotes

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If your robbing a bank and your pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh. And let the hostages laugh too, becasue I mean, come on, Life is funny!

By Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
One thing kids like to be is fooled. I remember, once, I told my nephew I was taking him to Disneyworld, but I really took him to a burned down old warehouse. 'Oh no,' I said, 'Disneyworld has burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. Then I started to take him to the real Disneyworld, but it was dark, so I went home.

By Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

By Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey