The X Files Quotes

Scully: Jake Conroy, age 30. He was employed as a customs agent by the Federal Government. The bite marks match those of the victims on the Chinese freighter. In this case, it bit off the man's hand. There's some talk in the house that he may be involved in the theft of the animal and that it turned on him.
Mulder: Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: I think we're speaking in too common terms about an animal we're calling a dog but which displays none of the behavior of man's best friend.
Scully: You mean covering up crime scenes?
Mulder: (smiles) You get a biscuit, Scully.

TV Show: The X-Files
Stacy: You two looking for Karin about boarding?
Mulder: No, it's actually more of a behavior problem.
Scully: (glancing up at Mulder) Yeah, he doesn't listen and he chews on the furniture.

TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: (reading some of Karin's book titles) Ah. "The Wolf Inside." "Dogs Don't Lie." "Better Than Human." (pause) "Better Than Human?"
Mulder: (shrugging apologetically) She's not a real people person.

TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: Everything okay, Scully?
Scully: How well do you know this woman, Mulder?
Mulder: How well do you know anybody you meet on the Internet? She likes to talk.
Scully: Well, I question her motives.
Mulder: You're suggesting that this case was a way to get me out here, to meet me? (no response; Mulder smiles) I'm flattered, but, no. I don't know this woman. I'd go out on a limb and say there's no way in hell she has anything to do with those four people being dead.
Scully: She's enamored of you, Mulder. Don't underestimate a woman. They can be tricksters, too. (They share a look.)

TV Show: The X-Files
Karin Berquist: Where's Fox?
Scully: Continuing his investigation.
Karin Berquist: You're not working together?
Scully: No. This is my investigation.
Karin Berquist: Of...?
Scully: You.
Karin Berquist: I have no idea what you mean.
Scully: I thought at first that they were eccentricities or affectations - the dark, the clothes - but it's photosensitivity. Your sleeves cover up skin lesions. It's why you're here amongst the humans instead of out in the field. Systemic lupus erythematosus.
Karin Berquist: Lupus... From the Latin for "wolf." Ironic, isn't it?
Scully: Ironic or perverse?
Karin Berquist: I've ignored the symptoms for years. I've always felt more like a wolf than a person.
Scully: But not with Mulder. With Mulder, you found somebody you could communicate with.... someone who challenged you... But that wasn't enough. You needed to lure him out here.
Karin Berquist: (flatly) I lack your feminine wiles.
Scully: (looks away for a moment) You don't believe it, do you - not for a minute - that there's an animal out there killing?
Karin Berquist: I don't believe that this man, Dr. Detweiler, ever caught it. I lived in Asia. I know about the Wanshang Dhole and if it survived for over a century it was because it was more cunning than man, more cunning than this man Detweiler ever dreamed of.
Scully: More cunning than you? (Karin looks surprised; Scully warns her) I'm watching you.
Karin Berquist: You watch... But you don't see.

TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: Through some blood curse, this man undergoes some kind of nocturnal transformation. He becomes the same shape-shifting trickster as that mythical dog.
Scully: So, what is he going to do? Walk in here, skitter across the linoleum and pee in the corners?
Mulder: It's about territoriality. He's going to come back here tonight to make sure his dominance isn't challenged. He's going to put down the threat he failed to eliminate when he attacked Cahn. Karin Berquist confirmed it.
Scully: Mulder, the only thing Karin Berquist is interested in is you. (he chuckles dismissively) You're kidding yourself if you think that she hasn't manipulated this entire situation for her own purposes.

TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: (about the body, chopped in half) Should we arrest David Copperfield?
Mulder: (seriously) Yes, we should... but not for this.

TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: I don't know. It's not a simple bisection. There's a considerable amount of his abdomen missing. I mean, it almost looks like a burning but it's too localized. Maybe an industrial acid.
Mulder: (looking at the report) There's, um... no acid found in his office.
Scully: Oh. (long pause; seriously) Spontaneous human combustion.
Mulder: (grinning happily in disbelief) Scully...!
Scully: Well, isn't that where you're going with this?
Mulder: (smiling) "Dear Diary: Today my heart leapt when Agent Scully suggested spontaneous human combustion."
Scully: (defensive) Mulder, there are one or two somewhat well-documented cases. (He says nothing; looks off to the side and nods thoughtfully; she sighs) Mulder, shut up. (He tries to look innocent and totally fails)

TV Show: The X-Files
Phillip Padgett: (voiceover, as Scully looks at the charm left under Mulder's door) Her prompt mind ran through the golconda of possibilities - was this trinket from the killer? Was there a message contained in its equivocal symbolism? Was he a religious fanatic who had, in fervid haste licked the envelope, leaving the telltale DNA that would begin his unraveling? She had a condign certainty the killer was a male... and now, as she held the cold metal at her fingertips she imagined him doing the same trying to picture his face.
Phillip Padgett: It would be a plain face, an average face... A face people would be prone to trust. She knew this inherently, being naturally trusting herself. But the image she conjured up was no better than the useless sketch composites that littered her files. Preconsciously, she knew this wasn't her strength as an investigator. She was a marshall of cold facts, quick to organize, connect, shuffle, reorder and synthesize their relative hard values into discreet categories. Imprecision would only invite sexist criticism that she was soft, malleable not up to her male counterparts.
Phillip Padgett: Even now, as she pushed an errant strand of titian hair behind her ear she worried her partner would know instinctively what she could only guess. To be thought of as simply a beautiful woman was bridling, unthinkable. But she was beautiful... fatally, stunningly prepossessing. Yet the compensatory respect she commanded only deepened the yearnings of her heart... to let it open, to let someone in.

TV Show: The X-Files
[Scully enters a church to look at a painting of Christ with a burning heart. Phillip Padgett comes up next to her.]
Phillip Padgett: I often come here to look at this painting. It's called "My Divine Heart" after the miracle of Saint Margaret Mary. Do you know the story... The revelation of the Sacred Heart? Christ came to Margaret Mary his heart so inflamed with love that it was no longer able to contain its burning flames of charity. Margaret Mary... so filled with divine love herself, asked the Lord to take her heart... and so he did placing it alongside his until it burned with the flames of his passion. Then he restored it to Margaret Mary sealing her wound with the touch of his blessed hand.
Scully: Why are you telling me this?
Phillip Padgett: You came here specifically to see this painting, didn't you?
Scully: Yes. How did you know that?
Phillip Padgett: I saw you enter. The way you knew right where it was.
Scully: I know you. You live next to somebody I work with. Why are you following me?
Phillip Padgett: I'm not. I'd only imagined that you'd come here today.
Scully: You imagined it.
Phillip Padgett: Yes.
Scully: (dryly) Yeah.
Phillip Padgett: I'm a writer. That's what I do - imagine how people behave. I have to admit I've noticed you. I do that... Notice people. I saw that you wear a gold cross around your neck so I was taking a chance with the painting - explaining something you may have already known. I saw Georgetown parking permits on your car dating from 1993 and a government-exempt sticker that lets you park anywhere you like. You don't live in this area but as a federal employee, you have reason to frequent it. You're fit, with muscular calves so you must exercise or run. There's a popular running route right nearby that you migh

TV Show: The X-Files
Phillip Padgett: (voiceover) The overture in the church had urged the beautiful agent's partner into an act of Hegelian self-justification. Expeditiously violating the fourth amendment against mail theft, he prepared to impudently infract the first. But if she'd predictably aroused her sly partner's suspicions Special Agent Dana Scully had herself become... simply aroused.
[Cuts to scene of Scully and Padget in bed together.]
Phillip Padgett: (voiceover) She felt an involuntary flush and rebuked herself for the girlish indulgence. But the images came perforce and she let them play-- let them flood in like savory-- or more a sugary confection-- from her adolescence when her senses were new and ungoverned by fear and self-denial. 'Ache,' 'pang,' 'prick,' 'twinge'-- how ironic the Victorian vocabulary of behavioral pathology now so perfectly described the palpations of her own desire. The stranger had looked her in the eye and knew her more completely than she knew herself. She felt wild, feral, guilty as a criminal. Had the stranger unleashed in her what was already there or only helped her discover a landscape she, by necessity, blinded herself to? What would her partner think of her?

TV Show: The X-Files
Phillip Padgett: Best not to question it. (pause) See? You are curious about me.
Scully: Well, you lead a curious life.
Phillip Padgett: It's not so different from yours I imagine - lonely.
Scully: (looks away) Loneliness is a choice.

TV Show: The X-Files
Phillip Padgett: But what is the truth?
Ken Naciamento: Man imagines that he, too, can open up his heart and expose the burning passion - the flames of charity - like the creator himself but this is not in his power.
Phillip Padgett: But I have love in my heart.
Ken Naciamento: Yes, as a thief has riches, a usurer money. You have it... but man's only power, only true power is to destroy it.
Phillip Padgett: Then what's the end of my story?
Ken Naciamento: There can only be one true ending if it is to be perfect.
Phillip Padgett: She dies?
Ken Naciamento: See? It almost writes itself.

TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: Mulder, it is such a gorgeous day outside. Have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet?
Mulder: I have seen the life on this planet, Scully, and that is exactly why I am looking elsewhere. (Scully opens a paper bag and takes out something that looks like ice cream) Did you bring enough ice cream to share with the rest of the class?
Scully: (smugly, eating) It's not ice cream. It's a nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle.
Mulder: (returning to his book, disgusted) Ugh. Bet the air in my mouth tastes better than that. You sure know how to live it up, Scully.
Scully: (continuing to eat) Oh, you're Mr. Live-it-up. Mulder, you're really Mr. Squeeze-every-last-drop-out-of-this-sweet-life, aren't you? On this precious Saturday you've got us grabbing life by the testes - stealing reference books from the FBI library in order to go through New Mexico newspaper obituaries for the years 1940 to 1949, and for what joyful purpose?
Mulder: Looking for anomalies, Scully. Do you know how many so-called "flying disc" reports there were in New Mexico in the 1940s?
Scully: I don't care. Mulder, this is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for 50 years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie.
Mulder: No, I won't sit idly by as you hurl cliches at me. "Preparation is the father of inspiration."
Scully: "Necessity is the mother of invention."
Mulder: "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."
Scully: (taking another bite) "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die."
Mulder: "I scream, you scream, we all scream for"- nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicles! (sets the book down; lunges for Scully. He grabs her arm and takes a bite of the dreamsicle, breaking it; it splatters o

TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: How do you know my name?
Arthur Dales: My brother told me all about you. He said you were the biggest jackass in the Bureau since he retired. (sarcastic) Yeah, we're big fans. Sometimes we'd stay awake hours at night just talking about you. Just fascinating. Now, unless you're hiding some Chinese food let's call it a day.

TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: I don't really care about the baseball, so much, sir. What I care about is this man in the picture with you. I believe to be an alien bounty hunter.
Arthur Dales: (opening the door a crack) Of course you don't care about the baseball, Mr. Mulder. You only bothered my brother about the important things like government conspiracies and alien bounty hunters and the truth with a capital "T."
Mulder: Wait a minute. I like baseball.
Arthur Dales: You like baseball, huh?
Mulder: Yeah.
Arthur Dales: How many home runs did Mickey Mantle hit?
Mulder: (thinks) 163. (Dales begins shutting the door, disappointed; Mulder pushes it open) Righty. 373 lefty. 536 total. (Arthur Dales nods, impressed; opens door all the way)

TV Show: The X-Files
Arthur Dales: Mr. Mulder... maybe you'd better start paying a little less attention to the heart of the mystery and a little more attention to the mystery of the heart.

TV Show: The X-Files
Young Arthur Dales: Mr. Exley, I'm not a big sports hero like yourself, sir and I really don't have an opinion on Negroes or Jews or Communists or even Canadians and vegetarians, for that matter but I cannot stomach the murder of a man of any persuasion or any color being flaunted and solicited in my town. (shows him the flyer) Not on my watch. So you can be safe with me in a cell down at the precinct or you can be safe with me here on the bus. Seeing as how this is still America you're free to choose, sir.

TV Show: The X-Files
Mulder: Let me get this straight: a free-spirited alien fell in love with baseball and ran away from the other non-fun-having aliens and made himself black, because that would prevent him from getting to the majors where his unspeakable secret might be discovered by an intrusive press and public and you're also implying that...
Arthur Dales: You certainly have a knack for turning chicken salad into chicken spit.
Mulder: You're also implying that this baseball-playing alien has something to do with the famous Roswell UFO crash of July '47, aren't you?
Arthur Dales: You're just dying to connect the dots aren't you, son? Look, I give you some wood and I ask you for a cabinet. You build me a cathedral. I don't want a cathedral. I like where I live. I just want a place to put my TV. Understand my drift?
Mulder: (pauses) Drift it is, sir.
Arthur Dales: Trust the tale, Agent MacGyver, not the teller. That which fascinates us is by definition true. Speaking metaphorically, of course.
Mulder: Okay, so was Ex a man who was metaphorically an alien or an alien who was metaphorically a man or a something in between that was literally an alien-human hybrid? (Dales sighs; hands Mulder alcohol) It's official. I am a horse's ass.

TV Show: The X-Files
Josh Exley: Don't get cornball on me, man. Next thing you'll be telling me is I owe it to all the little kids to break the home-run record, or I owe it to the black folks who think I'm one of them, to make it to the majors or I should just keep playing out of some meaningless human concept of pride or loyalty.
Young Arthur Dales: I don't know, Ex.
Josh Exley: We don't think like that, man. We may be able to look like y'all, but we ain't y'all. You know the big thing that separates us from you?
Arthur Dales: What's that?
Josh Exley: We got rhythm. (both pause, then crack up)

TV Show: The X-Files
Alien Bounty Hunter: Show me your true face or you will die without honor.
Josh Exley: This is my true face.

TV Show: The X-Files
[Nighttime at a baseball field; Mulder is wearing a "Grays" jersey, hitting balls thrown by a pitching machine.]
Scully: So, uh... I get this message marked "urgent" on my answering service from one "Fox Mantle" telling me to come down to the park for a very special very early or very late birthday present. And, Mulder... I don't see any nicely wrapped presents lying around so, what gives?
Mulder: You've never hit a baseball, have you, Scully?
Scully: No, I guess I have, uh... found more necessary things to do with my time than- (a foul ball hits the fence; she jumps) slap a piece of horsehide with a stick.
Mulder: Get over here, Scully. (he holds the bat out to her, she takes it, but he keeps his hands on it, wrapping his arms around her and holding the bat with her, around her hands)
Scully: (warily, not thrilled) This my birthday present, Mulder? You shouldn't have.
Mulder: This ain't cheap. I'm paying that kid ten bucks an hour to shag balls. Hey, it's not a bad piece of ash, huh? (gives him a "Look.")The bat - talking about the bat. Now, don't strangle it. You just want to shake hands with it. (doing silly voices) "Hello, Mr. Bat. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." "Oh, no, no, Ms. Scully. The pleasure's all mine." (she laughs, and they hold onto the bat) Okay, now, we want to... we want to go hips before hands, okay? (holds his hand a few inches from her hip) We want to stride forward and turn. That's all we're thinking about. So, we go hips... before hands, all right? (gingerly touches her hip and, with his hands and his own hips pressed against her, turns her correctly)
Scully: Okay.
Mulder: One more time. (he touches and turns her hips more confidently) Hips... before hands, all right?
Scully: Yeah.
Mul

TV Show: The X-Files
Byers: My name is John Fitzgerald Byers. I was named after our 35th president, and I keep having this beautiful dream. In my dream, the events of November 22nd, 1963, never happened. In it, my namesake was never assassinated. Other things are different, too, in my dream. My country is hopeful and innocent; young again. Young in spirit. My fellow citizens trust their elect officials, never once having been betrayed by them. My government is truly "of the people, by the people, for the people." All my hopes for my country, for myself... all are fulfilled. I have everything a person could want: home and family... and love. Everything that counts for anything in life... I have it. But the dream ends the same way every time. I lose it all.

TV Show: The X-Files
Byers: And that man that you're with...
Susanne Modeski: My fiance? I'm sorry, John, I think you better go.
Byers: No, wait. Wait. Ten years ago, I saw you thrown into a car. Kidnapped right in front of me. Did that not happen? Did I just dream all of that?
Susanne Modeski: It happened. But things got better.

TV Show: The X-Files
Langly: What if 'they' did something to him? You know, to make him pancake himself?
Scully: Who's "they?"
Langly: You know... "them."
Scully: (rolling her eyes) I'll begin with the Y-incision.

TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: What happened?
Langly: I'm thinking that you got a little queasy and took a header. You know, blood and guts can bother some people. (gags)
Scully: (seems intoxicated) Yeah. I guess.
Langly: You gonna be alright?
Scully: Sure, cutie.
[Both stand to examine Jimmy's corpse]]
Langly: So, you're done with Jimmy?
Scully: Done. Done. Done. (tries to push examining table with no success) How do you roll this thing?
Langly: Uh, Scully?
[Scully continues to try to figure out the examining table]
Langly: What killed him?
Scully: In my medical opinion -- BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!! *claps*
Langly: And that's all you found?
Scully: That's all I know.
[Scully slips trying to push the examining table]
Langly: Scully?

TV Show: The X-Files
Frohike: Hey Timmy. I'm sorry about Jimmy.
Timothy Landau: Hey Langly, the guys are all up in my room for a round of Dungeons and Dragons, in honor of Jimmy.
Langly: (hand on heart for a moment) Lord Manhammer will be in attendance. (to Frohike) I'm going to go play a little D&D, uh, in memoriam.
Frohike: That's touching, man.

TV Show: The X-Files
[Frohike hears Scully's laugh, and leaves his slot machine to see her surrounded by a huge group of men.]
Frohike: Scully?
Scully: Aw, hey. Long time, no see. (a man whispers something into her ear) No, that's not nice. I like Hickey. (she rubs his head, messing up his hair. Agent Morris Fletcher [from Dreamland I/II] holds out a pack of cigarettes to her)
Morris: Cigarette? (she leans in and takes out a cigarette with her lips seductively)
Frohike: You don't smoke.
Scully: But who's got a match? (a dozen lighters are in front of her instantly) Well ... I just can't decide who lights my fire.
Frohike: That's it. (grabs cigarette from Scully's mouth) Alright, you dandies, back off. This is Special Agent Dana Scully of the FBI. If you so much as touch her, you may be committing a federal offense. (to Scully) Come on, come on. (he pulls her away)
Morris: We could have been stardust.
Scully: Maybe next time. (she slaps his ass as Frohike drags her off)

TV Show: The X-Files
Scully: (laughing) Hi.
Frohike: Settle down, settle down. (sits her on the bed)
Scully: (laughing and grinning) Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Frohike: I found Agent Scully-go-lightly holding court... (Scully grabs Frohike's ass) ...bar!
Byers: I've never seen her drunk before ...
Modeski: (checks Scully's eyes) God, this can't be.
Scully: (she pretends to tickle her) Hi...

TV Show: The X-Files