The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes

Lisa: Will, would you stop? You're fine.
Will: I'm a grown man, sittin' under a table, huggin' a teddy-bear. I am not fine!
Lisa: It was just a little earthquake, calm down!
Will: Hey, I'm from Philly, where the people move and the ground stays still!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: [after Lisa insults his childhood teddy-bear] Hey, hey, HEY! Don't you be dissin' my bear!!!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Hilary (to Philip): Daddy, if you're always losing your keys, you should use my system.
Ashley: What's that?
Hilary: O.K., like I was always losing my car keys, so I went down to the key store and had 30 copies made. That way when I lose a key, I always have another one -- And next month, I do the same thing.
Ashley: That's your system?
Hilary: Absolutely. I did the same thing with our house key.
Philip: You mean, there are copies of our house key all over Los Angeles?
Hilary: Don't worry, daddy. I put our name and address on all of them.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Dr. Hoover: Speaking as a doctor, I think your daughter oughta be heavily sedated and immediately institutionalized.
Philip: Well, speaking as a lawyer, I can only say that your daughter suits the criminal profile to a T. Right down to the low, sloping forehead, and the wide jaw suitable for grains and small rodents!
Dr. Hoover: I think you must have her confused with yo' mama.
(Philip punches him, and Hoover falls on Will)
Will: That's it, Uncle Phil! You're grounded!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Vivian: Maybe Will did get a job.
Philip: Oh please, Vivian, you'd believe that boy if he told you that he was a big rap star whose album just went platinum.(In real life Will Smith had actually just gone platinum)

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: [Dressed up as a pirate in a pirate themed restaurant] Welcome to the Briny Deep, where none of our prices are ever too steep. We've got fresh fish, you can look at our tank, to get to the bathroom make a left at the plank. Follow me.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: Hmm what to drink.
Will: Well, sir, we do have all three flavors of Slim-Fast.
Philip: I'll have a Cola wise guy.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: The funky fresh is back in the flesh with a vengance holmes.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Hey, grandma. What do you think?
Hattie (walking in the living room to see Carlton in a dress being sewn by Will): Six years of Oprah and this is still a shock.
Carlton: It's a bet, Grandma.
Hattie: Don't tell me what happens if you lose. In fact, I don't want to know what happens if you win. Oh, Hell. Let's just never mention it again.
Philip (walking in the living room to see Carlton in a dress being sewn by Will): Son -- and I use that term loosely.
Carlton: Dad, it's not what it looks like. Will and I are making a dress.
Philip: That's exactly what it looks like.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Bobby: Cousin Carlton, Tomorrow, can you take me to Disneyland?
Carlton: Forget it. I will not be an accomplice to the murder of Mickey Mouse.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: I was thinking, since Janice is of the Negroid persuasion and Frank is of the Caucaucazoid persuasion, we could try these sings for the wedding...
Carlton sings a few lines from "Ebony and Ivory" by Paul McCartney then "Jungle Fever" by Stevie Wonder
Carlton: So Will what did you think?
Will: I think you were deprived of oxygen at birth.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Bobby I like it whenever you come. They all appreciate me after you leave.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Jazz (in the back of Will's car): Yo, who cut the...?
Oh, Mr. Banks. Sorry, I didn't see you... as hard as that is to believe.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip (to Will about his new car): Until I see some insurance papers, you're not driving this car. In fact, what kind of idiot would sell a car without insurance?
Jazz: I resent that. Ah, the joke's on you, Mr. Banks. You can't throw me out, 'cause I'm already outside.
(Philip picks up Jazz then proceeds to throw him into the kitchen)
Jazz: Ahh!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: You've heard of the Batmobile, get a load of the Rapmobile!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: He's just a preppy suck-up, he reminds me of someone.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Carlton, you're a dust-buster compared to that guy.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Carlton, why do I have service to eight in my drawers?

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Sonya Lamor: Hello darling...NO photographs!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Hilary: I hope there's no papparazzi around here
Sonya Lamor: Oh don't worry darling, they don't know I live here
Hilary: No, it's because people mistake me for Whitney Houston.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
(Will enters the kitchen carrying two suitcases.)
Carlton: Will, it's nice of you to help Mom and Dad with their bags.
Will: Oh yeah, man. I mean, they treat me so good here, I do whatever I can to repay their kindness.
Carlton: Can't wait for them to leave either, huh?
Will: Does Barry White want seconds?

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Carlton, skiing is for white guys named Sven, and O.J. Simpson.
Carlton: Oh, Will, you deprived product of the ghetto. Skiing is an exhilarating sport.
Will: What is exhilarating about strapping two sticks to your feet, flying down a hill at 90 miles an hour, and then slamming into a tree?
This is L.A., man. If I wanted to get my head cracked, I'd star in the next Rodney King video.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: [to Hilary] I've been busting my hump ever since you got a job.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
[Philip reads off the family's credit card bills]
Philip: Carlton, ninety dollars for a pair of socks? That's ridiculous.
Vivian: It certainly is. Oh Philip, that's nine dollars.
Philip: Oh...Ashley. How could you manage to charge eighty dollars worth of trinkets on our account at the drug store?
Vivian: That's eighty cents. Sweety, do you need to get your eyes checked?
Philip: Don't be ridiculous Vivian.
Vivian: This has been going on for months. If you move the TV any closer to the bed, I'll be sleeping with Jay Leno.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: Now, this looks like it says "300 dollars for shoes." What's that say?
Vivian: 300 dollars for shoes.
Hillary: Point being?

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
(Geoffrey's down on his millionaire girlfriend, and Will starts singing the blues and playing harmonica)
Will (singing): ...My butler is black ...My butler is blue ...'Cause his honey's got green ...coming out her wazoo.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
(Carlton helps his father to try on wigs.)
Carlton: What do you think of this one, Dad?
Philip: I look like Little Richard, Attorney at Law.
Geoffrey: Dinner is served. (sees Philip) A-whop-bop-aloobop-a-wop-bam-boom!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
(Geoffrey sneezes)
Vivian: Geoffrey, it sounds like you're getting a cold.
Geoffrey (speaking with nose stuffed up): Not at all, madam. It was barely a stipple. There you go, Master William.
Will: Thanks a lot, G. It looks great.
(Geoffrey sneezes in Will's cereal)
Will: Yo, Carlton. Breakfast!

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Jazz: (to Will, about Tyriq) What's he doing here?
Tyriq: (to Will, about Jazz) No, what's he doing here?
Will: Now, y'all not still mad about that watch thing.
Tyriq: He sold me a fake Rolex.
Jazz: He paid with a fake $20.
Will: [to Tyriq] Now, first of all. You should have known it was fake when you saw that the warranty was only for two hours. [to Jazz] And you should have known the Jackson on the $20 ain't Jermaine.
Jazz: They all look the same to me.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Bob Eubanks: What is the capital of Ohio?
(Tyriq buzzes in)
Eubanks: Tyriq?
Tyriq: That would be the capital "O", Bob.

TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air