Real Genius Quotes

Chris Knight: Oh, Kent, that is so unfair! And we were going to make you King of the Winter Carnival.
Kent: Really?

Movie: Real Genius
Chris Knight: You didn't touch anything, did you?
Mitch: No.
Chris Knight: Good. Because all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under 'H' for toy.
Mitch: What is it?
Chris Knight: It's a penis stretcher. Do you want to try it?
Mitch: No.
Chris Knight: I'm just kidding. It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

Movie: Real Genius
Mitch: But if I stay, what should I do?
Chris Knight: You get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.

Movie: Real Genius
Professor Hathaway: What's that smell?
Chris Knight: [sniffs under armpit] Must be the dog, sir.
Professor Hathaway: That's popcorn.
Chris Knight: Yes sir, I know...
Professor Hathaway: Well, get it away from me! I hate popcorn! I can't stand popcorn!
Chris Knight: [Chris drops the bag of popcorn on the steps] Good. Now I know what to get you for your birthday.

Movie: Real Genius
Professor Hathaway: [reading his TV script] Your colon: what does it look like?

Movie: Real Genius
[Mitch Taylor speaking through the microphone so that Kent hears voices in his head]
Mitch: And from now on, stop playing with yourself.
Kent: It is God.

Movie: Real Genius