Crazy, Stupid, Love. Quotes

Jacob: The bags under your eyes looks like Hugh Hefner's ball sack.

Movie: Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Kate: What do you want to do with me?
Cal: I want to show you off to my ex-wife and make her really jealous!

Movie: Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Cal: [Jacob is standing naked in the men's locker room, legs spread apart]Would you put on some clothes, please?
Jacob: Oh, I'm sorry. Is this bothering you?
Cal: [annoyed]No! It's not!
Jacob: Cal, my schwantz is in your face for twenty minutes. If it's not bothering you, we've got a bigger problem.
Cal: Okay. It bothers me.
Jacob: I don't care.

Movie: Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Jacob: Who looks like a carrot?

Movie: Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Cal: I have purchased a firearm.

Movie: Crazy, Stupid, Love.