A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes
Albert: The guy is one of the best shots around. I look like I have Parkinson's next to him.
Louise: What is that?
Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us.
Louise: What is that?
Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us.
Movie: A Million Ways to Die in the West
[last lines] Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: Somebody bring me one of them white women.
Movie: A Million Ways to Die in the West
Albert: You're going home every night to your girlfriend who loves you, you're having sex with her...
Edward: Uh, no. Ruth and I have... we've never done that.
Albert: What do you mean you never... you never had sex with Ruth?
Edward: Yeah, n-no. Yeah.
Albert: Wait, doesn't she have sex with like ten guys every day at the whorehouse?
Edward: On a slow day, yeah.
Albert: But you guys have never had sex?
Edward: No. No, Ruth wants to wait till we get married. You know, she's a Christian and so am I and we wanna save ourselves for our wedding night.
Albert: Edward, have you... have you ever had sex with anyone?
Edward: Well, there was some stuff with my uncle but that was, you know, it's really hard to remember all that stuff.
Edward: Uh, no. Ruth and I have... we've never done that.
Albert: What do you mean you never... you never had sex with Ruth?
Edward: Yeah, n-no. Yeah.
Albert: Wait, doesn't she have sex with like ten guys every day at the whorehouse?
Edward: On a slow day, yeah.
Albert: But you guys have never had sex?
Edward: No. No, Ruth wants to wait till we get married. You know, she's a Christian and so am I and we wanna save ourselves for our wedding night.
Albert: Edward, have you... have you ever had sex with anyone?
Edward: Well, there was some stuff with my uncle but that was, you know, it's really hard to remember all that stuff.
Movie: A Million Ways to Die in the West
Albert: Why are you laughing?
Cowboy at Fair: I don't know. Because he was laughing.
Cowboy at Fair: I don't know. Because he was laughing.
Movie: A Million Ways to Die in the West
Albert: That is our Mayor, he is dead. He has been lying there dead for three days, no one has done a thing. Not moved him, not looked into his death, not even replaced him with a temporary appointee. For the last three days, the highest ranking official in our town, has been a dead guy. [Two wolves drag dead body away]
Albert: Oh, look at that, look at that. Wolves are dragging the body away, as to illustrate my point. Bye! Bye, Mr. Mayor. Bye, have fun becoming wolve's shit, Bye. God!
Albert: Oh, look at that, look at that. Wolves are dragging the body away, as to illustrate my point. Bye! Bye, Mr. Mayor. Bye, have fun becoming wolve's shit, Bye. God!
Movie: A Million Ways to Die in the West
Barn Dance Comedian: I tell you, folks, this telegraph machine, that thing is nuts. I mean, sure it's faster than the Pony Express, but what good is it if you can't send a picture of your dick?
Movie: A Million Ways to Die in the West