Gunsmoke Quotes

Curly Mather: You're pretty tough with that gun strapped around your waist. I wonder how tough you'd be without it.
Reb Kittredge: You ain't never going to find out, Curly. I'm never going to take it off.

TV Show: Gunsmoke
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: [Festus offers to buy Doc a beer with a silver dollar that he earned from shoeing horses in episode Whelan's Men.] Why don't you take that money and invest it in something? Why don't you do that?
Festus Haggen: Invest it in what?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: There's wonderful land values outside of Dodge. Now why don't you go out there someplace, look around, and buy yourself a lot?
Festus Haggen: A lot of what?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: A lot! A lot of land!
Festus Haggen: Well fiddle, I can't afford to buy a lot of land. You probably could the way you've been a bilking and gouging...
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Oh, hush up! I'm trying to help you, for heaven sakes. It don't cost a whole lot to buy a little lot.
Festus Haggen: What do you mean it don't cost a whole lot to buy a little, or a whole lot to buy a lot, what do you mean?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Well, I mean,... a little lot of land!
Festus Haggen: But there ain't no such a thing. A little's a little, and a lot's a lot, there ain't no little lot, or lot of little, don't you see? Now you want that beer or don't you?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: No I'm... I'm all worn out.
Festus Haggen: [and as Doc walks away Festus Hollers] If you change your mind me and Newly will be over at the Longbranch having a whole lot of little beers. [Chuckles and flips his silver dollar]
Festus Haggen: Now I'm buying.

TV Show: Gunsmoke
Marshal Matt Dillon: [in bed at the start of the show, after listening to target practice outside and Festus snoring inside] I'm caught between a shootout and a sawmill!

TV Show: Gunsmoke
Matt Dillon: You know, Kitty, it's really been good seeing you again. Maybe when all this is over and I get back... [his sentence is incomplete as Kitty responds]
Kitty Russell: I'll be here. [as Matt closes the door behind him]
Kitty Russell: Aren't I always?

TV Show: Gunsmoke
Rita: How are you getting along with Kittredge?
Curly Mather: I can take him or leave him alone. If given the chance, I'd leave him alone.

TV Show: Gunsmoke
[the teaser of the very first episode, Matt Gets It.]
John Wayne: Good evening. My name's Wayne. Some of you may have seen me before. I hope so. I've been kicking around Hollywood a long time. I've made a lot of pictures out here. All kinds. Some of them have been westerns and that's what I'm here to tell you about tonight. A western. A new television show called Gunsmoke. When I first heard about the show Gunsmoke, I knew there was only one man to play in it. James Arness. He's a young fellow, and maybe new to some of you. But I've worked with him and I predict he'll be a big star. And now I'm proud to present Gunsmoke.

TV Show: Gunsmoke
[the teaser of the very first episode, "Matt Gets It."]
John Wayne: Good evening. My name's Wayne. Some of you may have seen me before. I hope so. I've been kicking around Hollywood a long time. I've made a lot of pictures out here. All kinds. Some of them have been westerns and that's what I'm here to tell you about tonight. A western. A new television show called "Gunsmoke". When I first heard about the show "Gunsmoke", I knew there was only one man to play in it. James Arness. He's a young fellow, and maybe new to some of you. But I've worked with him and I predict he'll be a big star. And now I'm proud to present "Gunsmoke".

TV Show: Gunsmoke

U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon: [to any man seemingly planning to go gunning for somebody.] If you're gonna to use that gun, you better start on me.

TV Show: Gunsmoke

Kitty Russell: Matt, you can't account for everything that happens to people who touch you. You know, I learned a long time ago, there are some things in this life that you just accept the way they are.
U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon: That's pretty deep for a redhead.
Kitty Russell: I'm a pretty deep redhead.

TV Show: Gunsmoke

Festus Haggen: Don't you think somebody oughta reckon with him, Matthew?
U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon: What did you say his name was again, Festus?
Festus Haggen: I think its Sinclair... Jack Sinclair.
U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon: He's got no left hand?
Festus Haggen: That's right. Anyways, don't you think somebody ought to go reckon with him?
U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon: No!
Festus Haggen: Why not, Matthew?
U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon: Because it was my bullet that took his hand!

TV Show: Gunsmoke

Louie Pheeters: [sitting at the bar in episode "Slocum"] Excepting some women, of course, just ain't nothing prettier than a full bottle.

TV Show: Gunsmoke

Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: [Festus offers to buy Doc a beer with a silver dollar that he earned from shoeing horses in episode "Whelan's Men".] Why don't you take that money and invest it in something? Why don't you do that?
Festus Haggen: Invest it in what?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: There's wonderful land values outside of Dodge. Now why don't you go out there someplace, look around, and buy yourself a lot?
Festus Haggen: A lot of what?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: A lot! A lot of land!
Festus Haggen: Well fiddle, I can't afford to buy a lot of land. You probably could the way you've been a bilking and gouging...
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Oh, hush up! I'm trying to help you, for heaven sakes. It don't cost a whole lot to buy a little lot.
Festus Haggen: What do you mean it don't cost a whole lot to buy a little, or a whole lot to buy a lot, what do you mean?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Well, I mean,... a little lot of land!
Festus Haggen: But there ain't no such a thing. A little's a little, and a lot's a lot, there ain't no little lot, or lot of little, don't you see? Now you want that beer or don't you?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: No I'm... I'm all worn out.
Festus Haggen: [and as Doc walks away Festus Hollers] If you change your mind me and Newly will be over at the Longbranch having a whole lot of little beers. [Chuckles and flips his silver dollar]
Festus Haggen: Now I'm buying.

TV Show: Gunsmoke

Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I'll tell you why the Hagens live so long.
Festus Haggen: Why?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: 'Cause they're too dumb to know they're dead!

TV Show: Gunsmoke