Big Z, little Z, what begins with Z? I do. I'm a zizzer zazzer zuzz, as you can plainly see.
At one point, I thought that maybe humor was the best way to deal with it. I figured maybe I should get 12 old Jewish comedians, you know, Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner, to sit around a table and have them riff off 'The Protocols.
By Marc Levin
He is just a gem of a guy. A fabulous sense of humor.
By Bruce Hensley
I want to grow old without facelifts... I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I've made. Sometimes I think it would be easier to avoid old age, to die young, but then you'd never complete your life, would you? You'd never wholly know you.
Everybody enjoys being around him. He's got a great sense of humor and can always make people laugh.
By Jeff Tedford
Humor is a whisper from the soul, imploring mind and body to relax, let go and be at peace again.
By Source Unknown
If you really look at humor, that's what most of it is anyway. Somebody wisecracking at somebody else. Putting them down. If you look at all the sitcoms, that's all sitcoms are today. Things never change. Sardonic, sarcastic humor is always prevalent. It's hard to do something funny without being that way. It's classier if you didn't have to resort to it, I think.
By Johnny Hart
I hope you're all Republicans.
By Ronald Reagan
I'm not much for screaming or yelling. Sometimes I use humor, sometimes I get real blunt. I'm probably not the easiest person to play for.
By Karl Smesko
Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy.
By Amy Alcott
Just tell yourself, Duckie, your real quite lucky.
One should never risk a joke, even of the mildest and most unexceptional charters, except among people of culture and wit.
By Jean Bruyere
Not here not there not anywhere!
People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn't see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one.
Oh, the humor! It's hysterical. And it's smart and goofy at the same time, kind of like a Neil Simon play or a Mel Brooks movie. I read it over and over again, and it changed me in the way of storytelling, seeing things differently.
By Rosie Perez
Managing to have a sense of humor makes it a lot easier to manage people
By Steve Wilson
Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!
Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail.
By Luciano Pavarotti
It's a very savage kind of humor, it comes out of a great deal of pain.
By Martin Scorsese
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
By Horace Walpole
I saw Sharp Humor break sharp so I just followed him.
By Edgar Prado
Humor is my mechanism for dealing with the hard reality of the world.
By Dick Skrinjar
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
By Victor Borge
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public.
By Tom Walsh
I believe that economists put decimal points in their forecasts to show they have a sense of humor.
By William Simms
He does have, underneath a sort of serious exterior, a really wonderful sense of humor, ... It rarely shows itself in the trial lawyer mode, but it certainly does in personal relationships.
By George Freeman
But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.
By Jon Stewart
But now, says the Once-ler, now that you're here, the word of the Lorax seems perfectly clear. UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.
Chemistry is important and I think humor is important. We're looking for somebody who can do the interviews and also the hot topics at the beginning of the show.
By Barbara Walters
Womens humor is part of the revolution.
By Dale Spender
What some people invent the rest enlarge.
There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble
By Sinclair Lewis
The storm starts, when the drops start dropping When the drops stop dropping then the storm starts stopping.
The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?
The only way I can make a Jim Carrey face is through Novocain at the dentists office.
By Sasha Azevedo
I drive people crazy with deep questions and they drive me crazy with shallow answers.
«Blessed is he, who smiles sweet as a nut, that he greets you all not with a shotgun.»--Ernesto Pangilinan Santiago
She's as pure and clean as the driven snow...if the snow was driven by Charlie Sheen in a coal truck.
Some of my favorite James Brown hits...if he were Jewish. - Living in the West Bank - It's A Hasidic World - Papa's Got A Brand New Bag of Hebrew National Beef Franks - Make My Frontlet Band Funky - Say It Loud-I'm Jewish And I'm Proud - I Got Ants In My Pants (And I Want To Bar Mitzvah)
You have to have sufication insurance to get between theses boobs or thighs
we all are educated illiterates.
the whole world is stupid, and i am someone out of the world!!!
don't tell me that sky is the limit, when there are footprints on moon!!! -anonymous
I like work - I can sit and watch it for hours!
I sometimes get so angry I could throw rocks at a hearse, and you have to be mighty upset to do that!
She has everything a man desires! A mustache, huge biceps and a pickup truck!
I'm so deep into you, and no wonder why I always feel like I'm in some deep s***! -Dec 2011
I have inspired and motivated a lot of people, including myself.
You're a b**** only when you bark, and not when you lick or bite!
I am very horny right now, and I see the Indian Government as one desperate, lonely and sexy girl, seducing me!
Currently, getting gang-f***** by the most (un)wanted rapists--- confusion, depression, solitude, fear and gloom, as each one of them reaches their orgasms f***ing me... Woah, I am too hot for them!
In god we thrust, expectations!
FB Timeline is like that regretful sex that at first, out of curiosity and restlessness, you give in, and then later, regret for life for f***ing up with a wrong person.
If your lies are the best, then the best profession for you would either be of a lawyer or a writer.
Mein Kampf and The Story of My Experiments with the Truth lay together and the former screams violently,come, ravage me brutally with no mercy, again and again while the later, with tears and helplessness, chokes and whispers, No, please no, I beg of you, stay away.
I'm always uncomfortable; it's always freaky and weird to be around with all the moms of all my female friends that I've. Although the aunties are sweet to me, but their eyes reveal their deepest desire to scream this on my face, Amaan, the Kameena.
If I were Hitler, instead of Jews I would be eliminating the race of stupids f***ing dumb idiots.
@William Blake: I apologize, Sir; you're one big disappointment! I've cherished only The Songs of Innocence and some other(s) but the entire stuff couldn't drag or pull. And next time when you write, kindly do not disappoint me. Thank you very much, Sir!
If you like being hated, become a politician!
Height of Typo! TUP's poster was prepared as: Get Laid before getting hired! (Instead of Get Paid before getting hired!)
So little you knew about this warrior but now it seems too late to chase after the opposer
There is a huge difference between call me, b***h and call me b***h
I know, I know and I know. Many of my employees so badly wish to choke me to death due to many unexplained reasons, yet they smile and their long-desire ends in a helpless sigh, Well, you're the boss! But in their minds, they scream, F***ING A**HOLE!
Angry 17th Century Person: O' lady, thou art a fornicating soul as thou lack sense as thy cranium is fornicated! I plead, fade away, for kindness sake. Farewell! F***ed up 21st Century Person: B**ch-please, you're f***ing dumb and your mind is f***ed up, leave me the f*** alone for f***-sake. F*** off!
Awh something got stuck in my tooth, and it was bothering me big-time; and then I munched you like chewing gum and when it got out, I spat you out
I said, I wish I could adopt all the animals and live with them. She said, Dont adopt them but instead go and live in the Zoo or Jungle, that would be the best option.
Love, thou art a hopeless b**ch; cometh with intensity and f**keth thyself away in jiffy. F**k thee!
Your prayers/requests will be answered. I am not like other gods who keep their devotees wait for years...gods and Indian justice system are alike...judges and gods are brothers-in-arms... mere ghar der nahi hai lekin andher hai :P
the easiest game is to make mistakes, only rule of this game is never tremble during play.
Show me a preacher who does not screw his way into deep pockets, and I will show you a hooker who does not screw
Security knows no man Sincerity makes a better society.
Ghetto graduated-college educated.
Do I look like an ape to you? No wait, don't answer that.
Neither the spoon nor the plate knows the sweetness of the soup.
Data will never travel faster than rumors.
Party hard, die on the f***ing floor, and wake up in hell and murmur to the girl next to you in bed with a hangover in the middle of the day, uhmm where am I? And who are you? and then next you hear is, GET THE FUCK OUT, RIGHT NOW
Heights of Boredom: Watching Harry Potter series and napping a million times while watching. I am on 4th part and I dont remember anything at all. I am literally yawning as I am typing this. Great remedy for my insomnia. Thanks to Rowling and others. I owe my sleep to you guys!
There is nothing worse for a man than to hide behind a woman's skirt when he was meant to hide in a hole. © G. Venetopoulos
A good man is meant to be a winner. A bad loser was meant to be a man. © G. Venetopoulos
My Life is like a TV sitcom...minus the laugh track.
Sometimes my life is like a wheel, going round and round.. only difference I don't go anywhere.
Grandchildren...The opportunity to do again, what you missed the first time around.
I call my Husband my ROCK ..because when I speak to him, it's like talking to a rock.
I am not saying I am perfect and have all the answers...but I defy you to find anything wrong with what I just quoted.
Love to some means never having to say... I'm sorry, excuse me, please, thank you , pardon me, OOPS, and my favorite.... can I help ? ( b4 you have completed the task )...
Spring has Sprung, my nose does say, SOW now go and Sneeze the Day ..
Jesebang ang rongjayw benifrai bangsin lwgwao dukukowsw ang lafayw.
If. It ain't broke try to. Fix it anyway. You might improve it. A little improvement never hurt anyone. But then again.......It's not likely that I studied the entire history of improvements so you'd. Better look up that last quote. Val Brooklyn Rogers
All my original quotes are FOOD for THOUGHT...without any WEIGHT gain ...
Memory has a habit of taking flight the moment the present becomes the past
The mouth is a shovel that will dig you in deep -- When there are things to yourself you should keep
Every film or drama, no matter based on sad, happy or humorous story has its end. Similarly, life events, and affairs of any kind have an end. Nothing is forever.
Hell hath no fury, like a Woman who has already lived there...
Don't play with me, I'm a GROWN-UP. Val Brooklyn Rogers
She was filled with Joy when he asked her to marry..then Joy was the reason for the divorce..
It took four and a half hours, for my identical twin sister and I to agree on one t-shirt we would both wear
There is nothing humorous about people falling down and yet here I sit mesmerized by the TV show, America's Funniest Home videos, and what am I watching?