H. L. Mencken Quotes

H. L. Mencken Quotes. Below is a collection of famous H. L. Mencken quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by H. L. Mencken. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

Judge: a law student who marks his own papers.

By H. L. Mencken

Jury: a group of twelve men who, having lied to the judge about their hearing, health and business engagements, have failed to fool him.

By H. L. Mencken

It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.

By H. L. Mencken

It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously.

By H. L. Mencken

It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

By H. L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.

By H. L. Mencken

It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.

By H. L. Mencken

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what sting is justice.

By H. L. Mencken

In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.

By H. L. Mencken

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

By H. L. Mencken

In this world of sin and sorrow, there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

By H. L. Mencken

In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.

By H. L. Mencken

In the duel of sex woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft.

By H. L. Mencken

Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.

By H. L. Mencken

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States.

By H. L. Mencken

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.

By H. L. Mencken

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

By H. L. Mencken

I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.

By H. L. Mencken

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.

By H. L. Mencken

I detest converts almost as much as I do missionaries.

By H. L. Mencken

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.

By H. L. Mencken

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.

By H. L. Mencken

Henry James would have been vastly improved as a novelist by a few whiffs of the Chicago stockyard.

By H. L. Mencken

He marries best who puts it off until it is too late.

By H. L. Mencken

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates.

By H. L. Mencken

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.

By H. L. Mencken

God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, thehelpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos; He will set them above their betters.

By H. L. Mencken

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

By H. L. Mencken

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.

By H. L. Mencken

Every man is thoroughly happy twice in his life: just after he has met his first love, and just after he has left his last one.

By H. L. Mencken