Fran Lebowitz Quotes
Fran Lebowitz Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Fran Lebowitz quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Fran Lebowitz. Share these quotations with your friends and family.
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
By Fran Lebowitz
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
By Fran Lebowitz
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
By Fran Lebowitz
If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract -- teach him to deduct.
By Fran Lebowitz
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or or not.
By Fran Lebowitz
I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
By Fran Lebowitz
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
By Fran Lebowitz
Being a woman is of special interest to aspiring male transexuals. To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
By Fran Lebowitz
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
By Fran Lebowitz
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
By Fran Lebowitz
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
By Fran Lebowitz
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
By Fran Lebowitz
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
By Fran Lebowitz