Anonymous Quotes

Anonymous Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Anonymous quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Anonymous. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

'I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.'

By Anonymous

'Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.'

By Anonymous

'What bone will a dog never eat? A trombone.'

By Anonymous

'What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.'

By Anonymous

'What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad.'

By Anonymous

'Regardless of the temptation, don't lick a steak knife.'

By Anonymous

'I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.'

By Anonymous

'I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.''

By Anonymous

'Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.'

By Anonymous

'Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!'

By Anonymous

'Lawyer: 'Were you acquainted with the deceased?' Witness: 'Yes sir.' Lawyer: 'Before or after he died?''

By Anonymous

'A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.'

By Anonymous

'Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks'

By Anonymous

'Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive.'

By Anonymous

'For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.'

By Anonymous

'I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.'

By Anonymous

'If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.'

By Anonymous

'The shortest distance between two points is under construction.'

By Anonymous

'If I want to hear the patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.'

By Anonymous