Dumb and Dumber Quotes
Jessica's Dad: Oh, my God. **** everywhere. There's **** everywhere! Damnit! There's **** on the windows! Oh, my God! My house is full of ****! He **** everywhere! Look what he did! He **** all over the walls! There's **** everywhere!
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
[Turk comes up behind Lloyd and grabs him in a Head-Lock. Lloyd introduces him to Harry]
Lloyd: This is my Mohawk friend, Turk. He's part of the Cool Crowd.
[to Turk]
Lloyd: Hey, Kimosabe!
Turk: Shut up, Ass-Face.
Lloyd: That's the Iroquois name he gave me for having the strong face of an ass.
Lloyd: This is my Mohawk friend, Turk. He's part of the Cool Crowd.
[to Turk]
Lloyd: Hey, Kimosabe!
Turk: Shut up, Ass-Face.
Lloyd: That's the Iroquois name he gave me for having the strong face of an ass.
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Harry: I like your flight suit.
Ray: I'm a custodian.
Harry: Well then...
[salutes Ray]
Ray: I'm a custodian.
Harry: Well then...
[salutes Ray]
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Turk: So were you held back two years like Lloyd?
Harry Dunne: No, I was held back three.
Lloyd Christmas: By your mom?
Harry Dunne: No, I was held back three.
Lloyd Christmas: By your mom?
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
[Lewis is getting his mascot's head taken off]
Lewis: Aah.
Harry Dunne: Whoa! The half boy / half horse.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh! That's more of what we're looking for.
Harry Dunne: He's *super* special.
Lewis: Well... I mean, I got to get a job anyway. So if I - if I sign your thing, I can just come and go whenever I want to?
Lloyd Christmas: You were born free, and free you shall remain.
Lewis: Aah.
Harry Dunne: Whoa! The half boy / half horse.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh! That's more of what we're looking for.
Harry Dunne: He's *super* special.
Lewis: Well... I mean, I got to get a job anyway. So if I - if I sign your thing, I can just come and go whenever I want to?
Lloyd Christmas: You were born free, and free you shall remain.
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Turk: [after Harry and Jessica and Harry finish talking] Hey Harry, did Jessica give you that banana in your pocket?
Harry Dunne: No, my mom did!
Turk: Gross!
Harry Dunne: [pulls out of pocket]
Harry Dunne: Want some?
Turk: [saying discustedly] NO!
Harry Dunne: No, my mom did!
Turk: Gross!
Harry Dunne: [pulls out of pocket]
Harry Dunne: Want some?
Turk: [saying discustedly] NO!
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Jessica's Mom: [Jessica's Mom notices Harry is digging into the dinner rolls she has prepared] I see you like my rolls.
Harry: [Stares at Jessica's Mom] Yeah. I like a woman with some meat on her bones.
Harry: [Stares at Jessica's Mom] Yeah. I like a woman with some meat on her bones.
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Ms. Heller: The band sounds awful.
Principal Collins: Ha ha. I sold the wood instruments for Hawaiian Air tickets.
Principal Collins: Ha ha. I sold the wood instruments for Hawaiian Air tickets.
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Lloyd: Whoa! Look at Jessica, look at her milk bubbles, and her shorts are really short!
Harry Dunne: I know...
Lloyd: Yea, last time I wore shorts that short, I got beat up!
Harry Dunne: I know...
Lloyd: Yea, last time I wore shorts that short, I got beat up!
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Lloyd Christmas: You know, you're the first person I ever brought here, Harry.
Harry Dunne: Is this your special place?
Lloyd Christmas: No, I just usually eat in the crapper. Yeah. Saves time. Out with the old, in with the new.
Harry Dunne: Is this your special place?
Lloyd Christmas: No, I just usually eat in the crapper. Yeah. Saves time. Out with the old, in with the new.
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Harry: I like your flight suit.
Ray: I'm a custodian.
Harry: Well then...
[salutes Ray]
Ray: I'm a custodian.
Harry: Well then...
[salutes Ray]
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Turk: So were you held back two years like Lloyd?
Harry Dunne: No, I was held back three.
Lloyd Christmas: By your mom?
Harry Dunne: No, I was held back three.
Lloyd Christmas: By your mom?
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Harry Dunne: [Harry is covered in mud and hit by Jessica's dad's car] Charlie!
Jessica's Dad: Oh, my God... it's you... you're the guy that crapped up my house! What are you... you're covered in *shit*! My car's covered in *shit*!
Harry Dunne: No, no, no, no... It's not that?
[gets off the hood and starts to walk off]
Jessica's Dad: There's crap all over my hood! You got feces all over my mercedes! It's in my grill! My car's covered in shit!
Lloyd: Who's that?
Harry Dunne: Jessica's Dad? she says he's really anal.
Lloyd: [winces, disgusted] Ew... ugh, that's gross.
Jessica's Dad: [as they walk off, fading out] Get back here! I'm not cleaning this up! I'm gonna have to have this towed! Are you out of your mind? What is it with you and *fecal* matter?
[fade out]
Jessica's Dad: Oh, my God... it's you... you're the guy that crapped up my house! What are you... you're covered in *shit*! My car's covered in *shit*!
Harry Dunne: No, no, no, no... It's not that?
[gets off the hood and starts to walk off]
Jessica's Dad: There's crap all over my hood! You got feces all over my mercedes! It's in my grill! My car's covered in shit!
Lloyd: Who's that?
Harry Dunne: Jessica's Dad? she says he's really anal.
Lloyd: [winces, disgusted] Ew... ugh, that's gross.
Jessica's Dad: [as they walk off, fading out] Get back here! I'm not cleaning this up! I'm gonna have to have this towed! Are you out of your mind? What is it with you and *fecal* matter?
[fade out]
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Ray: What are you crazy boys doing in my tool shed?
Lloyd Christmas: We're not crazy dad. We're special, and Principal Collins wants us to have our own special class room.
Ray: [happy] My boy's special! How about that!
[hugs Lloyd]
Ray: I knew you were different!
Lloyd Christmas: We're not crazy dad. We're special, and Principal Collins wants us to have our own special class room.
Ray: [happy] My boy's special! How about that!
[hugs Lloyd]
Ray: I knew you were different!
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Lloyd Christmas: Somebody chipped my tooth!
Harry: How do you think I feel? Somebody bit me in the forehead!
Harry: How do you think I feel? Somebody bit me in the forehead!
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Lloyd Christmas: You know, you're the first person I ever brought here, Harry.
Harry Dunne: Is this your special place?
Lloyd Christmas: No, I just usually eat in the crapper. Yeah. Saves time. Out with the old, in with the new.
Harry Dunne: Is this your special place?
Lloyd Christmas: No, I just usually eat in the crapper. Yeah. Saves time. Out with the old, in with the new.
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Mrs. Dunne: Hey, fellas, it's getting kind of late. Come on.
Lloyd Christmas: Can I be on top?
Harry Dunne: Only if I can be on bottom.
Lloyd Christmas: All Right!
Lloyd Christmas: Can I be on top?
Harry Dunne: Only if I can be on bottom.
Lloyd Christmas: All Right!
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Ray: What are you crazy boys doing in my tool shed?
Lloyd Christmas: We're not crazy dad. We're special, and Principal Collins wants us to have our own special class room.
Ray: [happy] My boy's special! How about that!
[hugs Lloyd]
Ray: I knew you were different!
Lloyd Christmas: We're not crazy dad. We're special, and Principal Collins wants us to have our own special class room.
Ray: [happy] My boy's special! How about that!
[hugs Lloyd]
Ray: I knew you were different!
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Lloyd Christmas: Somebody chipped my tooth!
Harry: How do you think I feel? Somebody bit me in the forehead!
Harry: How do you think I feel? Somebody bit me in the forehead!
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
[Harry is about to throw away Lloyd's chipped tooth]
Lloyd: No! Wait - save it for the Tooth Fairy.
Harry: I happen to know for a fact that my mother is the Tooth Fairy.
Lloyd: No way! Your mom's the Tooth Fairy?
Harry: Yeah, she flies around at night while I'm asleep.
Lloyd: Well nice to meet you. I'm Lloyd Christmas.
Harry: Well, I'll be. Here I am bragging about how my mom's the Tooth Fairy and you're dad's Santa Claus!
Lloyd: No! Wait - save it for the Tooth Fairy.
Harry: I happen to know for a fact that my mother is the Tooth Fairy.
Lloyd: No way! Your mom's the Tooth Fairy?
Harry: Yeah, she flies around at night while I'm asleep.
Lloyd: Well nice to meet you. I'm Lloyd Christmas.
Harry: Well, I'll be. Here I am bragging about how my mom's the Tooth Fairy and you're dad's Santa Claus!
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Lloyd Christmas: There's gonna be chicks all over us. It's gonna be so faggy I don't think I can stand it.
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Jessica's Dad: Oh, my God. Shit everywhere. There's shit everywhere! Damnit! There's shit on the windows! Oh, my God! My house is full of shit! He shit everywhere! Look what he did! He shit all over the walls! There's shit everywhere!
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
[Turk comes up behind Lloyd and grabs him in a Head-Lock. Lloyd introduces him to Harry]
Lloyd: This is my Mohawk friend, Turk. He's part of the "Cool Crowd".
[to Turk]
Lloyd: Hey, Kimosabe!
Turk: Shut up, Ass-Face.
Lloyd: That's the Iroquois name he gave me for having the strong face of an ass.
Lloyd: This is my Mohawk friend, Turk. He's part of the "Cool Crowd".
[to Turk]
Lloyd: Hey, Kimosabe!
Turk: Shut up, Ass-Face.
Lloyd: That's the Iroquois name he gave me for having the strong face of an ass.
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
[Lewis is getting his mascot's head taken off]
Lewis: Aah.
Harry Dunne: Whoa! The half boy / half horse.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh! That's more of what we're looking for.
Harry Dunne: He's *super* special.
Lewis: Well... I mean, I got to get a job anyway. So if I - if I sign your thing, I can just come and go whenever I want to?
Lloyd Christmas: You were born free, and free you shall remain.
Lewis: Aah.
Harry Dunne: Whoa! The half boy / half horse.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh! That's more of what we're looking for.
Harry Dunne: He's *super* special.
Lewis: Well... I mean, I got to get a job anyway. So if I - if I sign your thing, I can just come and go whenever I want to?
Lloyd Christmas: You were born free, and free you shall remain.
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Turk: [after Harry and Jessica and Harry finish talking] Hey Harry, did Jessica give you that banana in your pocket?
Harry Dunne: No, my mom did!
Turk: Gross!
Harry Dunne: [pulls out of pocket]
Harry Dunne: Want some?
Turk: [saying discustedly] NO!
Harry Dunne: No, my mom did!
Turk: Gross!
Harry Dunne: [pulls out of pocket]
Harry Dunne: Want some?
Turk: [saying discustedly] NO!
Movie: Dumb and Dumber
Jessica's Mom: [Jessica's Mom notices Harry is digging into the dinner rolls she has prepared] I see you like my rolls.
Harry: [Stares at Jessica's Mom] Yeah. I like a woman with some meat on her bones.
Harry: [Stares at Jessica's Mom] Yeah. I like a woman with some meat on her bones.
Movie: Dumb and Dumber