Shaggy:[after Scooby-Doo pierces a pin on the back of a Shaggy-like voodoo doll] Yeow! I've been voodooed!
Fred: Hold it, Shaggy. All you did was back into this fork.

Movie / TV: Scooby-Doo
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Colin: We'll be right back to Happy Waldo and the Salty Monkey, but first, have we got a deal for you!
Ryan: Yes, we have, Colin. You know, songs of garbage have made people happy throughout the world for years and years. And nowhere do they love their songs of garbage more than in Jamaica, a little country down south.

Movie / TV: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Brady Jensen: [angrily to Erica] You're not a journalist--you're a jackal!

Movie / TV: CSI - Miami
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: [Festus offers to buy Doc a beer with a silver dollar that he earned from shoeing horses in episode "Whelan's Men".] Why don't you take that money and invest it in something? Why don't you do that?
Festus Haggen: Invest it in what?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: There's wonderful land values outside of Dodge. Now why don't you go out there someplace, look around, and buy yourself a lot?
Festus Haggen: A lot of what?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: A lot! A lot of land!
Festus Haggen: Well fiddle, I can't afford to buy a lot of land. You probably could the way you've been a bilking and gouging...
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Oh, hush up! I'm trying to help you, for heaven sakes. It don't cost a whole lot to buy a little lot.
Festus Haggen: What do you mean it don't cost a whole lot to buy a little, or a whole lot to buy a lot, what do you mean?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: Well, I mean,... a little lot of land!
Festus Haggen: But there ain't no such a thing. A little's a little, and a lot's a lot, there ain't no little lot, or lot of little, don't you see? Now you want that beer or don't you?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: No I'm... I'm all worn out.
Festus Haggen: [and as Doc walks away Festus Hollers] If you change your mind me and Newly will be over at the Longbranch having a whole lot of little beers. [Chuckles and flips his silver dollar]
Festus Haggen: Now I'm buying.

Movie / TV: Gunsmoke
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

J.J.: Dynomite!

Movie / TV: Good Times
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Bob Eubanks: Making whoopie!

Movie / TV: The Newlywed Game
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

but I play one on TV.: I'm not a doctor

Movie / TV: Vicks Formula 44
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Fred Flintstone: Yabba dabba do!

Movie / TV: The Flintstones
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Tommy Smothers: Mom always liked you best.

Movie / TV: The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd: Jane, you ignorant slut.

Movie / TV: Saturday Night Live
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

The Father: What did he show you?
Anakin: I have seen what I become...and I cannot let that happen!
The Father: And for this, you join him?! Your destiny can change as quickly as the love in one's heart can fade. Nothing is set in stone!
Anakin: But I will cause so much pain...

Movie / TV: Star Wars - The Clone Wars (2008 TV series)
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

John Boy.: Good night

Movie / TV: The Waltons
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Hank Kingsley: Hey now!

Movie / TV: The Larry Sanders Show
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

David Banner: Don't make me angry...

Movie / TV: The Incredible Hulk
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Scooby Doo: ... if it weren't for you meddling kids!

Movie / TV: Scooby Doo
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Scooby-Doo: Ruh-roh!

Movie / TV: Scooby-Doo
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Felix Unger: Never assume...

Movie / TV: The Odd Couple
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Jim McKay: The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat.

Movie / TV: ABC's Wide World of Sports
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Maude: God'll get you for that.

Movie / TV: Maude
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

et al: Come on down! , Johnny Olson

Movie / TV: The Price is Right
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Tattoo: De plane! De plane!

Movie / TV: Fantasy Island
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Homey the Clown: Homey don't play that!

Movie / TV: In Living Color
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Jon Stewart: Here it is, your moment of Zen.

Movie / TV: The Daily Show
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Spock: Live long and prosper.

Movie / TV: Star Trek
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Eddie Haskell: Gee, Mrs. Cleaver...

Movie / TV: Leave it to Beaver
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Fred Sanford: Elizabeth, I'm coming!

Movie / TV: Sanford and Son
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Charlie Brown: Good grief.

Movie / TV: Peanuts Specials
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Regis Philbin: Is that your final answer?

Movie / TV: Who Wants to be a Millionaire
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Guy:Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?

Movie / TV: Grey Poupon
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Columbo: Just one more thing...

Movie / TV: Columbo
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Jackie Gleason: How sweet it is!

Movie / TV: The Jackie Gleason Show
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Fat Albert: Hey, hey, hey!

Movie / TV: Fat Albert
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Steve McGarrett: Book 'em, Danno.

Movie / TV: Hawaii Five-O
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Hannibal: I love it when a plan comes together.

Movie / TV: The A-Team
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Robot: Danger, Will Robinson!

Movie / TV: Lost in Space
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Dwayne Nelson: Hey, hey, hey!

Movie / TV: What's Happening!!
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Joey Tribbiani: How you doin'?

Movie / TV: Friends
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Emeril Lagasse: Bam!

Movie / TV: Emeril Live
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Denny Crane: Denny Crane.

Movie / TV: Boston Legal
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Walter Cronkite: And that's the way it is.

Movie / TV: CBS Evening News
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Fonzie: Aaay!

Movie / TV: Happy Days
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Ed McMahon: Here's Johnny!

Movie / TV: The Tonight Show
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Cosmo Kramer: You're becoming one of the glitterati.
George Costanza: What's that?
Cosmo Kramer: People who glitter.

Movie / TV: Seinfeld
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Sgt. Schultz: I know nothing!

Movie / TV: Hogan's Heroes
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

The Honeymooners: Baby, you're the greatest.

Movie / TV: The Honeymooners
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Dr. Kelly Brackett: Start an IV, 51... D5W TKO!

Movie / TV: Emergency!
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Tony Stark: [After seeing the gold 3-D render of his suit] A little ostentatious, don't you think?
Jarvis: [dripping with sarcasm] What was I thinking? You're usually so discreet.
Tony Stark: Tell you what. Throw a little hot-rod red in there.
Jarvis: Oh yes. That should help you keep a low profile. [seconds later] The render is complete.
Tony Stark: [upon seeing the new render] Hey, I like it. Fabricate it, paint it.
Jarvis: Beginning automated assembly. Estimated completion time is five hours.
Tony Stark: Don't wait up for me, honey.

Movie / TV: Iron Man (film)
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Edward R. Murrow: Good night and good luck.

Movie / TV: See It Now
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Larry: I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl, this is my other brother Darryl.

Movie / TV: Newhart
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Bubbles: Boys, my legs are all jankity-janked.

Movie / TV: Trailer Park Boys
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Robin: Holy ______ Batman!

Movie / TV: Batman
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

[After end-credits. Tony reaches home]
Tony Stark: Jarvis.
Jarvis : [distorted] Welcome home, Sir. [Jarvis cuts out]
[Tony notices a figure by the window looking outside]
Unknown Man: "I am Iron Man." Think you're the only superhero in the world? Mr. Stark, you've become part of a bigger universe. You just don't know it yet.
Stark : Who the hell are you?
[The man faces Tony as he walks into the light]
Fury : Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Stark: [nonchalantly] Ah.
Fury : I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative.

Movie / TV: Iron Man (film)
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Ed Sullivan: We've got a really big show!

Movie / TV: The Ed Sullivan Show
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Homer Simpson: D'oh!

Movie / TV: The Simpsons
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Beavis & Butthead: Heh heh...

Movie / TV: Beavis and Butthead
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Frank Barone: Holy crap!

Movie / TV: Everybody Loves Raymond
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Milosh: Another point for Milosh!

Movie / TV: Seinfeld
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Sgt. Esterhaus: Let's be careful out there.

Movie / TV: Hill Street Blues
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Edgar: Now there's something you don't see every day, Chauncey.
Chauncey: What's that, Edgar?

Movie / TV: Rocky and His Friends
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Fearless Leader: Where is that nincompoop Badenov? Who is this?
Boris Badenov: Nincompoop!

Movie / TV: Rocky and His Friends
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Mr. Lager: Well , we've discussed this, here's the feeling: You got a greeting, starts with an H, how's twenty bucks sound?
Cosmo Kramer: I'll take it.
Mr. Lager: Awright, sir

Movie / TV: Seinfeld
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Aldon Benes: Which one's supposed to be the funny guy?
George Costanza: [pointing to Jerry] Oh, he's the comedian.
Jerry: I'm just a regular person.
George Costanza: No, no. He's just being modest.
Aldon Benes: We had a funny guy with us in Korea. A tailgunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific. [long pause]
Aldon Benes: There's nothing funny about that.

Movie / TV: Seinfeld
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Esteban: Hep, Hep.
London: Hooray!

Movie / TV: The Suite Life of Zack & Cody
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Al Michaels: Do you believe in miracles?

Movie / TV: 1980 Winter Olympics
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Jan Brady: Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

Movie / TV: The Brady Bunch
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Savage Opress: You beg? Weakling!

Movie / TV: Star Wars - The Clone Wars (2008 TV series)
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Mel Profitt: Only the toes knows.

Movie / TV: Wiseguy
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


IDAK Alpha 12: Crush! Kill! Destroy!

Movie / TV: Lost in Space
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

I consider myself quite a fugal frella. But sometimes I....[Brad cracks up, followed by Colin and Ryan] Shut up! Keep on going!

Movie / TV: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Carrie : I was specifically told there would be no clowns. There's nothing scarier than a clown.

Movie / TV: Sex and the City
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Jim Rhodes: You're not a soldier.
Tony Stark: Damn right I'm not — I'm an army.

Movie / TV: Iron Man (film)
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Jerry Seinfeld: [on airline bathrooms] Tiny toilet, tiny light, tiny sink, tiny soap dispenser. Tiny slot- for *used razor blades.* That's always there. Who is shaving on the plane? And shaving so much, they're using UP razor blades? What have you got- the Wolfman flying here?

Grandma Saracen: Landry, stop throwing the ball. You look like a girl.
Landry: Just one more.
Grandma Saracen: No. You're just a funny looking creature.
Landry: [to Matt] She seems to be doing well.

Movie / TV: Friday Night Lights
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Anakin: There has been a change of plan. Sorry. You will not understand what I have to do to end the Clone War. You will try to stop me!
Obi Wan: [horrified] Anakin, why?!
Anakin: I'm sorry, but I have seen that it is the Jedi who will stand in the way of peace.

Movie / TV: Star Wars - The Clone Wars (2008 TV series)
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Kojak: Who loves you, baby?

Movie / TV: Kojak
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

The Father: [as Anakin points his lightsaber at the Father's face] Cannot sleep? To strike an unarmed man is hardly the Jedi way.
Anakin: You're a Sith Lord!
The Father: You have a very simple view of the universe. I am neither Sith, nor Jedi. I am much more. And so are you.
Anakin: I see through your spells and visions, old man. Tell me what is going on here!
The Father:[grips Anakin's lightsaber blade with his bare hand] Some call us Force-wielders. [pushes the lightsaber blade back into it's hilt, deactivating it]

Movie / TV: Star Wars - The Clone Wars (2008 TV series)
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Howard Borden: I was, uh, just decorating my Christmas tree and I was wondering, is there a trick to stringing cranberry sauce?

Movie / TV: The Bob Newhart Show
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Bullwinkle J. Moose: Hey, Rocky; watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!
Rocket J. Squirrel: Again?
Bullwinkle J. Moose: Nothin' up my sleeve - Presto! [pulls Rocky out of the hat]
Bullwinkle J. Moose: Well, I'm gettin' close.

Movie / TV: Rocky and His Friends
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Donald Trump: You're fired!

Movie / TV: The Apprentice
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Narrator: Well, today we find our heroes flying along smoothly...
Rocket J. Squirrel: Flying along smoothly?
Bullwinkle J. Moose: You're just looking at the picture sideways!
Rocket J. Squirrel: Actually it's like this!
Narrator: Oh... OH GOOD HEAVENS! Today we find our heroes plunging straight down toward disaster at supersonic speed!
Bullwinkle J. Moose: That's better.

Movie / TV: Rocky and His Friends
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Wynn Park: Think of the stories we'll tell our grandchildren: 'Grandma and Grandpa were on the Titanic.'

Movie / TV: Titanic
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Jerry's girlfriend: I'm sorry, but I can't be with someone whose protégé is a hack.
Jerry: I'm sorry, but I can't be with someone whose mentor is a Costanza.

Movie / TV: Seinfeld
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Jack Benny: Now cut that out!

Movie / TV: The Jack Benny Program
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Mr. Big : You're moving to Paris with a Russkie?
Carrie : You do this every time! Every time! What do you have, some kind of radar? 'Carrie might be happy, it's time to sweep in and shit all over it!'

Movie / TV: Sex and the City
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Sarah Connor: You did what I asked?
Father Armando Bonilla: I did.
Sarah Connor: And? Why are you here?
Father Armando Bonilla: They have a message for you. She's coming.
[Alarms go off and the cell door gets locked]
Father Armando Bonilla: I don't know what to do.
Sarah Connor: You're a priest. Pray.
[Cameron appears at the hallway, battling the prison guards. At Zeira Corp, John Henry observes the incident and overrides the security measures, unlocking all prison cells.]
Sarah Connor: What's that Bible story, the one with locks fall off?
Father Armando Bonilla: Peter.
Sarah Connor: Yeah. That's a good one. Girth thyself.

Movie / TV: Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Guard: Hey! Are you the guy who smashed through my gate?
Waterboy T-888: Yes. [Shoots and kills the guard]
Catherine Weaver: Hey! I liked that gate!
Waterboy T-888: Catherine Weaver?
Catherine Weaver: Sure. [T-888 unloads its pistols on Weaver who heals the gunshot wounds. Weaver promptly stabs him then stabs the power supplies to short-circuit the T-888]

Movie / TV: Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Jack: (Making phrases to win a scone competition) Where's my scone? Where's my scone? Ah there it is, next to the phone

Movie / TV: Still Game
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

[After Stark's one night stand with Christine]
Pepper Potts: I have your clothes here; they've been dry cleaned and pressed. And there's a car waiting for you outside that will take you anywhere you'd like to go.
Christine Everheart: You must be the famous Pepper Potts.
Pepper Potts: [smiling] Indeed I am.
Everheart: After all these years, Tony still has you picking up the dry cleaning.
Potts: I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires. Including, occasionally, taking out the trash. [still smiling] Will that be all?

Movie / TV: Iron Man (film)
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

(Ezri admits that she and Bashir have spent the night together.)
Ezri Dax: And you're not mad.
Worf: I am very happy for you. But I will have to kill him.
Ezri Dax: (alarmed) You're kidding, right?
Worf: And Jadzia said I did not have a sense of humor.

Movie / TV: Star Trek - Deep Space Nine
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Female Changeling: It is always good to see you, Odo. But I have no intention of surrendering my forces. It would be sign of weakness, an invitation to the Solids to cross into the Gamma Quadrant and destroy the Great Link.
Odo: Believe me when I say that the Federation has its flaws, but a desire for conquest is not one of them.
Female Changeling: And what of the Romulans and the Klingons? Can you say the same for them?
Odo: The Romulan and Klingon Empires are in no position to invade anyone. Besides, the Federation would not allow it.
Female Changeling: The Dominion has spent the last two years trying to destroy the Federation, and now you're asking me to put our fate in their hands?
Odo: Yes.
Female Changeling: I'm sorry, Odo. I do not have your kind of faith in the Solids.

Movie / TV: Star Trek - Deep Space Nine
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Admiral Ross: Four hundred years ago, a victorious general spoke the words at the end of another costly war: "Today the guns are silent. A great tragedy has ended. We have known the bitterness of defeat and the exultation of triumph, and from both we have learned there can be no going back. We must move forward to preserve in peace what we've won in war."

Movie / TV: Star Trek - Deep Space Nine
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Bashir: 800 million dead.
Garak: And the figures are still coming in.
Bashir: I'm sorry.
Garak: Oh, it's quite all right, Doctor. Some would say we got exactly what we deserved. After all, we are not completely innocent here. And I'm not just referring to the occupation of Bajor. Our history is filled with arrogant aggression. We joined the Dominion and betrayed the entire Alpha Quadrant. Yes... we are guilty as charged.
Bashir: But Cardassian people are strong, they will survive. Cardassia will survive...
Garak: Oh please, doctor, spare me your insufferable Federation optimism! Of course it'll survive. But not the Cardassia I knew. Our art and literature was second to none. And now look at us. So many of our best minds all... gone.

Movie / TV: Star Trek - Deep Space Nine
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Arnold Drummond: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Movie / TV: Diff'rent Strokes
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Armless man: And that's why you don't yell.

Movie / TV: Arrested Development
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Charlotte[testing fragrances] : Maybe cucumber basil?
Samantha : Why would you want to smell like a salad?

Movie / TV: Sex and the City
 | Comment  |  + My Fav


Mexican man: Amigo! Be careful. Don't drink the water. Montezuma's revenge. [Andy disregards his warning and drinks the water]
Mexican man: [laughs] Ackhahahahahahaha! Ackhahahahahahaha!

Movie / TV: The Andy Milonakis Show
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Female Changeling: I wish you hadn't done that. That was Weyoun's last clone.
Garak: I was hoping you would say that.

Movie / TV: Star Trek - Deep Space Nine
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

John Connor: [to Cameron] Stuff goes wrong with you. You kill birds. You twitch. You try to murder me. You're a machine. You're not perfect.

Movie / TV: Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

[outside Dominion headquarters]
Garak: We have a problem.
Kira Only one?
Garak: It's a rather large problem. The cargo bay door is made of neutronium.
Kira Nerys: Then the explosives we brought aren't even going to make a dent.
Garak: You see the problem.
Ekoor: What do we do?
Damar: I don't know. But I'm through hiding in basements.
[Garak begins to laugh]
Damar: I fail to see what is so funny, Garak.
Garak: Well, isn't it obvious? Here we are, ready to storm the castle, prepared to sacrifice our lives in a noble effort to slay the Dominion beast in its lair... [Kira begins to laugh uncontrollably] ...and we can't even inside the gates!
[They all begin to laugh.]
Kira: Maybe... maybe we could go up to the door and ask the Jem'Hadar to let us in.
Damar: Or just send the shapeshifter out to us.
[They group laughs even louder.]
Garak: [sobers gradually] As I said, we have a problem.

Movie / TV: Star Trek - Deep Space Nine
 | Comment  |  + My Fav

Lloyd Bentsen: Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy.

Movie / TV: Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle
 | Comment  |  + My Fav