Dragnet Quotes

Sgt. Joe Friday: This is the city...

TV Show: Dragnet
Doctor: I'm sorry, was Mr. Troy a friend of yours?
Sgt. Joe Friday: No sir, we hardly knew him.

Movie: Dragnet
Drug Dealer: Cops, the other white meat.
Det. Frank Smith: You hear what he did there, Joe? He called us pigs, but in like a roundabout kinda way.

Movie: Dragnet
Frieza: [Approaches Guru's tower] Hello, anybody home?
Nail: Yes, I'm here. Hello, friend.
Frieza: Thank you very much. I'm a visitor touring your lovely planet and I happened to come across seven Dragonballs. A man at a gift shop told me about the legend behind the balls. You know, the wish. But you need a password to activate them. Would you happen to know the password, my good man?
Nail: Not me. You should check with the chamber of commerce. They have that sort of information.
Frieza: The chamber is dead, my good man, and so are you if you don't tell me that password!

Movie: Dragnet
Pep Streebeck: You know, Muzz, you have the right to remain silent. If you give up the right to remain silent any thing you will... you know these words, Muzz. Sing along! [Rapping]
Pep Streebeck: Anything you say will be used against you in a court of law!

Movie: Dragnet
William Tanner: I didn't really want to kill Adele. There was nothing I could do. Adele was a sinner.
Sgt. Joe Friday: Yeah.
William Tanner: Drinking and running around. She committed sins all the time. The worst kinds of sins. Terrible.
Sgt. Joe Friday: Yeah, well maybe you better check the Book, Tanner. You were way ahead of her.
William Tanner: What do you mean?
Sgt. Joe Friday: What kind of sin is worse than murder?

Movie: Dragnet
[Friday is about to eat a chili dog]
Pep Streebeck: You know the kinds of things that can fall into an industrial sausage press? Not excluding rodent hairs and... bug excrement? [Friday gives a disgusted look]
Joe Friday: I hate you, Streebeck.

Movie: Dragnet
Joe: This is the city: Los Angeles, California. I work here. I'm a cop.

TV Show: Dragnet
Joe: We could've piled up a hundred years of great policemen and great detectives: men with honor and brains and guts. You tore down every best part of them. The people who read it in the papers, they're going to overlook the fact that WE got you; that we washed our own laundry and we cleared this thing up. They're going to overlook all the good. They'll overlook every last good cop in the country. But they'll remember YOU. Because you're a bad cop.

TV Show: Dragnet
Joe: All we know are the facts, ma'am.

TV Show: Dragnet
Frank: Christmas cards, huh? A little late, aren't you?
Joe: Well, I was going to send them out Monday, but we had that stakeout.

TV Show: Dragnet
Joe: Do the youngsters know what these goofballs are made of, son?

TV Show: Dragnet
Joe: No, sir. It's no mistake. Marijuana.

TV Show: Dragnet
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Frank Smith: Fine, we'll get warrants. But that's gonna take time and really piss us off.

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Frank Smith: No, you're not A suspect, you're THE suspect.

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Frank Smith: Premature ejaculation... we got a squirter!

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Frank Smith: Sadistic son-of-a-bitch tortured her with electricity.

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Frank Smith: Stop! You're really pissing me off!

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Frank Smith: The guy sure did know how to live... when he was alive.
Det. Joe Friday: Don't eat the dead guys candy, Smith!

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Frank Smith: This city owes me a new pair of Italian ankle boots.
Det. Joe Friday: Yeah, Italian by way of Taiwan.

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Frank Smith: Victims, like your daughter here.
Lydia Stoffel: That's my son. [Franks looks at the picture again]

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Frank Smith: What size do you wear? eight, nine? [Greg looks confused]
Det. Frank Smith: Your shoes.
Greg: Seven.
Det. Frank Smith: Seven. That's cute. Me, I got clown's feet.

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Frank Smith: Your dialing finger broken?

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Joe Friday: [narration] They come out in force, the press. A celebrity gets murdered, the world goes crazy with curiosity. In a way we're like the ancient Greeks, we need our gods to be human. We need to know bad things happen to them too. Just like the rest of us.

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Joe Friday: Be polite? I am polite! What does she think I'm gonna do, pee in a wastebasket?
Det. Frank Smith: I heard you did that once.

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Joe Friday: If your client tells us you advised him to lie, I'll be at your disbarment hearing.

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Joe Friday: I'm on a budget. I'm not buying a story that changes every day.

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Joe Friday: Next time you want to make the news, step in front of a bus.

TV Show: Dragnet

Det. Joe Friday: So, more jail time and we'll have to get animal control to come down here and euthanize these little fluff balls.
Alice: What?
Det. Frank Smith: So sad.

TV Show: Dragnet