Humorous Quotes. Below are examples of popular Humorous quotes. These great quotes about Humorous come from famous people and QuoteSoup members. QuoteSoup is a great resource for Humorous quotes. Share these sayings and quotations with friends.

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"The only way I can make a Jim Carrey face is through Novocain at the dentists office."

humorous quote by Sasha Azevedo

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"The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?"

humorous quote by Anonymous

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"The storm starts, when the drops start dropping When the drops stop dropping then the storm starts stopping."

humorous quote by Anonymous

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"There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble"

humorous quote by Sinclair Lewis

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"What some people invent the rest enlarge."

humorous quote by Anonymous

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"Womens humor is part of the revolution."

humorous quote by Dale Spender

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"Chemistry is important and I think humor is important. We're looking for somebody who can do the interviews and also the hot topics at the beginning of the show."

humorous quote by Barbara Walters

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"But now, says the Once-ler, now that you're here, the word of the Lorax seems perfectly clear. UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."

humorous quote by Anonymous

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"But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even."

humorous quote by Jon Stewart

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"He does have, underneath a sort of serious exterior, a really wonderful sense of humor, ... It rarely shows itself in the trial lawyer mode, but it certainly does in personal relationships."

humorous quote by George Freeman

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"I believe that economists put decimal points in their forecasts to show they have a sense of humor."

humorous quote by William Simms

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"Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public."

humorous quote by Tom Walsh

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"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place."

humorous quote by Anonymous

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"Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth."

humorous quote by Victor Borge

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"Humor is my mechanism for dealing with the hard reality of the world."

humorous quote by Dick Skrinjar

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"I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation."

humorous quote by W. Somerset Maugham

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"I saw Sharp Humor break sharp so I just followed him."

humorous quote by Edgar Prado

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"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."

humorous quote by Horace Walpole

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"It's a very savage kind of humor, it comes out of a great deal of pain."

humorous quote by Martin Scorsese

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"Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail."

humorous quote by Luciano Pavarotti

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"Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!"

humorous quote by Anonymous

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"Managing to have a sense of humor makes it a lot easier to manage people"

humorous quote by Steve Wilson

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"Oh, the humor! It's hysterical. And it's smart and goofy at the same time, kind of like a Neil Simon play or a Mel Brooks movie. I read it over and over again, and it changed me in the way of storytelling, seeing things differently."

humorous quote by Rosie Perez

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"Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you."

humorous quote by Herbert Tree

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"People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn't see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one."

humorous quote by Anonymous

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"Not here not there not anywhere!"

humorous quote by Anonymous

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"One should never risk a joke, even of the mildest and most unexceptional charters, except among people of culture and wit."

humorous quote by Jean Bruyere

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"Just tell yourself, Duckie, your real quite lucky."

humorous quote by Anonymous

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"Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy."

humorous quote by Amy Alcott

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"I'm not much for screaming or yelling. Sometimes I use humor, sometimes I get real blunt. I'm probably not the easiest person to play for."

humorous quote by Karl Smesko

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"I hope you're all Republicans."

humorous quote by Ronald Reagan

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"If you really look at humor, that's what most of it is anyway. Somebody wisecracking at somebody else. Putting them down. If you look at all the sitcoms, that's all sitcoms are today. Things never change. Sardonic, sarcastic humor is always prevalent. It's hard to do something funny without being that way. It's classier if you didn't have to resort to it, I think."

humorous quote by Johnny Hart

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"Humor is a whisper from the soul, imploring mind and body to relax, let go and be at peace again."

humorous quote by Source Unknown

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"Everybody enjoys being around him. He's got a great sense of humor and can always make people laugh."

humorous quote by Jeff Tedford

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"I want to grow old without facelifts... I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I've made. Sometimes I think it would be easier to avoid old age, to die young, but then you'd never complete your life, would you? You'd never wholly know you."

humorous quote by Anonymous

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"He is just a gem of a guy. A fabulous sense of humor."

humorous quote by Bruce Hensley

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"At one point, I thought that maybe humor was the best way to deal with it. I figured maybe I should get 12 old Jewish comedians, you know, Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner, to sit around a table and have them riff off 'The Protocols."

humorous quote by Marc Levin

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"Big Z, little Z, what begins with Z? I do. I'm a zizzer zazzer zuzz, as you can plainly see."

humorous quote by Anonymous

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"America is not only big and rich, it is mysterious and its capacity for the humorous or ironical concealment of its interests matches that of the legendary inscrutable Chinese."

humorous quote by David Riesman

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"I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor."

humorous quote by Mark Twain

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"I have often been downcast, but never in despair I regard our hiding as a dangerous adventure, romantic and interesting at the same time. In my diary I treat all the privations as amusing. I have made up my mind now to lead a different life from other girls and, later on, different from ordinary housewives. My start has been so very full of interest, and that is the sole reason why I have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments."

humorous quote by Anne Frank

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"I really like the Observer. I think I'd love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to do some proper reporting, but keep it on sort of a humorous level. I've always had a very happy experience writing for them."

humorous quote by Toby Young

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"In order to find a good quotation in a dictionary of humorous quotations, I didn't leave any stone unturned."

humorous quote by B. J. Gupta

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"The humorous man recognizes that absolute purity, absolute justice, absolute logic and perfection are beyond human achievement and that men have been able to live happily for thousands of years in a state of genial frailty."

humorous quote by Brooks Atkinson

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"An emotional man may possess no humor, but a humorous man usually has deep pockets of emotion, sometimes tucked away or forgotten."

humorous quote by Constance Rourke

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"Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun."

humorous quote by Flip Wilson

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"A clever, imagination, humorous request can open closed doors and closed minds."

humorous quote by Percy Ross

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"Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humour. He will always use it in evidence against you."

humorous quote by Herbert Beerbohm, Sir

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"She was filled with Joy when he asked her to marry..then Joy was the reason for the divorce.."

humorous quote by kjforce

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"Don't play with me, I'm a GROWN-UP. Val Brooklyn Rogers"

humorous quote by race.66val@yahoo

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"Hell hath no fury, like a Woman who has already lived there..."

humorous quote by kjforce

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"Every film or drama, no matter based on sad, happy or humorous story has its end. Similarly, life events, and affairs of any kind have an end. Nothing is forever."

humorous quote by Ehsan Sehgal

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"The mouth is a shovel that will dig you in deep -- When there are things to yourself you should keep"

humorous quote by Madchen863

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"Memory has a habit of taking flight the moment the present becomes the past"

humorous quote by Madchen863

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"All my original quotes are FOOD for THOUGHT...without any WEIGHT gain ..."

humorous quote by kjforce

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"If. It ain't broke try to. Fix it anyway. You might improve it. A little improvement never hurt anyone. But then again.......It's not likely that I studied the entire history of improvements so you'd. Better look up that last quote. Val Brooklyn Rogers"

humorous quote by race.66val@yahoo

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"Jesebang ang rongjayw benifrai bangsin lwgwao dukukowsw ang lafayw."

humorous quote by Ronjoy Brahma

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"Spring has Sprung, my nose does say, SOW now go and Sneeze the Day .."

humorous quote by kjforce

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"Love to some means never having to say... I'm sorry, excuse me, please, thank you , pardon me, OOPS, and my favorite.... can I help ? ( b4 you have completed the task )..."

humorous quote by kjforce

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"I am not saying I am perfect and have all the answers...but I defy you to find anything wrong with what I just quoted."

humorous quote by kjforce

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"I call my Husband my ROCK ..because when I speak to him, it's like talking to a rock."

humorous quote by kjforce

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"Grandchildren...The opportunity to do again, what you missed the first time around."

humorous quote by kjforce

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"Sometimes my life is like a wheel, going round and round.. only difference I don't go anywhere."

humorous quote by kjforce

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"My Life is like a TV sitcom...minus the laugh track."

humorous quote by kjforce

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"A good man is meant to be a winner. A bad loser was meant to be a man. © G. Venetopoulos"

humorous quote by Giorgio A.V.

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"There is nothing worse for a man than to hide behind a woman's skirt when he was meant to hide in a hole. © G. Venetopoulos"

humorous quote by Giorgio A.V.

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"Heights of Boredom: Watching Harry Potter series and napping a million times while watching. I am on 4th part and I dont remember anything at all. I am literally yawning as I am typing this. Great remedy for my insomnia. Thanks to Rowling and others. I owe my sleep to you guys!"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"Party hard, die on the f***ing floor, and wake up in hell and murmur to the girl next to you in bed with a hangover in the middle of the day, uhmm where am I? And who are you? and then next you hear is, GET THE FUCK OUT, RIGHT NOW"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"Data will never travel faster than rumors."

humorous quote by sleete99

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"Neither the spoon nor the plate knows the sweetness of the soup."

humorous quote by jared ooko

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"Do I look like an ape to you? No wait, don't answer that."

humorous quote by argylle1

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"Ghetto graduated-college educated."

humorous quote by BambiLynn

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"Security knows no man Sincerity makes a better society."

humorous quote by akewusola habib

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"Show me a preacher who does not screw his way into deep pockets, and I will show you a hooker who does not screw"

humorous quote by TrEversole

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"the easiest game is to make mistakes, only rule of this game is never tremble during play."

humorous quote by akewusola habib

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"Your prayers/requests will be answered. I am not like other gods who keep their devotees wait for years...gods and Indian justice system are alike...judges and gods are brothers-in-arms... mere ghar der nahi hai lekin andher hai :P"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"Love, thou art a hopeless b**ch; cometh with intensity and f**keth thyself away in jiffy. F**k thee!"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"I said, I wish I could adopt all the animals and live with them. She said, Dont adopt them but instead go and live in the Zoo or Jungle, that would be the best option."

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"Awh something got stuck in my tooth, and it was bothering me big-time; and then I munched you like chewing gum and when it got out, I spat you out"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"Angry 17th Century Person: O' lady, thou art a fornicating soul as thou lack sense as thy cranium is fornicated! I plead, fade away, for kindness sake. Farewell! F***ed up 21st Century Person: B**ch-please, you're f***ing dumb and your mind is f***ed up, leave me the f*** alone for f***-sake. F*** off!"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"I know, I know and I know. Many of my employees so badly wish to choke me to death due to many unexplained reasons, yet they smile and their long-desire ends in a helpless sigh, Well, you're the boss! But in their minds, they scream, F***ING A**HOLE!"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"There is a huge difference between call me, b***h and call me b***h"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"So little you knew about this warrior but now it seems too late to chase after the opposer"

humorous quote by Amadu

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"Height of Typo! TUP's poster was prepared as: Get Laid before getting hired! (Instead of Get Paid before getting hired!)"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"If you like being hated, become a politician!"

humorous quote by poptop

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"@William Blake: I apologize, Sir; you're one big disappointment! I've cherished only The Songs of Innocence and some other(s) but the entire stuff couldn't drag or pull. And next time when you write, kindly do not disappoint me. Thank you very much, Sir!"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"If I were Hitler, instead of Jews I would be eliminating the race of stupids f***ing dumb idiots."

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"I'm always uncomfortable; it's always freaky and weird to be around with all the moms of all my female friends that I've. Although the aunties are sweet to me, but their eyes reveal their deepest desire to scream this on my face, Amaan, the Kameena."

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"Mein Kampf and The Story of My Experiments with the Truth lay together and the former screams violently,come, ravage me brutally with no mercy, again and again while the later, with tears and helplessness, chokes and whispers, No, please no, I beg of you, stay away."

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"If your lies are the best, then the best profession for you would either be of a lawyer or a writer."

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"FB Timeline is like that regretful sex that at first, out of curiosity and restlessness, you give in, and then later, regret for life for f***ing up with a wrong person."

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"In god we thrust, expectations!"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"Currently, getting gang-f***** by the most (un)wanted rapists--- confusion, depression, solitude, fear and gloom, as each one of them reaches their orgasms f***ing me... Woah, I am too hot for them!"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"I am very horny right now, and I see the Indian Government as one desperate, lonely and sexy girl, seducing me!"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"You're a b**** only when you bark, and not when you lick or bite!"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"I have inspired and motivated a lot of people, including myself."

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"I'm so deep into you, and no wonder why I always feel like I'm in some deep s***! -Dec 2011"

humorous quote by Syed Amaan Ahmad

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"She has everything a man desires! A mustache, huge biceps and a pickup truck!"

humorous quote by Robert L. Hinshaw

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"I sometimes get so angry I could throw rocks at a hearse, and you have to be mighty upset to do that!"

humorous quote by Robert L. Hinshaw

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"I like work - I can sit and watch it for hours!"

humorous quote by Robert L. Hinshaw

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"don't tell me that sky is the limit, when there are footprints on moon!!! -anonymous"

humorous quote by Nitin Aswani

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"the whole world is stupid, and i am someone out of the world!!!"

humorous quote by Nitin Aswani

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"we all are educated illiterates."

humorous quote by Nitin Aswani

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"You have to have sufication insurance to get between theses boobs or thighs"

humorous quote by biganah

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"Some of my favorite James Brown hits...if he were Jewish. - Living in the West Bank - It's A Hasidic World - Papa's Got A Brand New Bag of Hebrew National Beef Franks - Make My Frontlet Band Funky - Say It Loud-I'm Jewish And I'm Proud - I Got Ants In My Pants (And I Want To Bar Mitzvah)"

humorous quote by Mark Pringle

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"She's as pure and clean as the driven snow...if the snow was driven by Charlie Sheen in a coal truck."

humorous quote by Mark Pringle

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"«Blessed is he, who smiles sweet as a nut, that he greets you all not with a shotgun.»--Ernesto Pangilinan Santiago"

humorous quote by Ernesto P Santiago

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"I drive people crazy with deep questions and they drive me crazy with shallow answers."

humorous quote by davidinteriors

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