Jay Leno Quotes

Jay Leno Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Jay Leno quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Jay Leno. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

By Jay Leno

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

By Jay Leno

President Clinton says in this month’s 'Esquire' that he wants the Republicans who spoke against him during the impeachment to apologize to him. But the Republicans today said those were oral insults, and under Clinton’s logic, an oral insult is not really an insult.

By Jay Leno

Your preoccupation should be on doing what you do as well as you can. What your co-workers say about you, what your opponent is doing -- that doesn't matter.

By Jay Leno

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

By Jay Leno

You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.

By Jay Leno

There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. The real trick is not to try to get the whole pie, but to keep the biggest slice.

By Jay Leno

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin

By Jay Leno

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

By Jay Leno

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite goodMaybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder.

By Jay Leno

How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

By Jay Leno

Here's something to think about How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'

By Jay Leno

Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people they're just acquaintances.

By Jay Leno

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.

By Jay Leno