Garrison Keillor Quotes

Garrison Keillor Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Garrison Keillor quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Garrison Keillor. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laborato...

By Garrison Keillor
Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.

By Garrison Keillor
People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, 'Where are you from?' doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know?

By Garrison Keillor
Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists in the room will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.

By Garrison Keillor
The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

By Garrison Keillor
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

By Garrison Keillor
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.

By Garrison Keillor
To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.

By Garrison Keillor
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

By Garrison Keillor
Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

By Garrison Keillor
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

By Garrison Keillor
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

By Garrison Keillor
God writes a lot of comedy the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

By Garrison Keillor
Age does not always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone

By Garrison Keillor
A book is a gift you can open again and again.

By Garrison Keillor