Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Fran Lebowitz Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Fran Lebowitz quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Fran Lebowitz. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

By Fran Lebowitz
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

By Fran Lebowitz
Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a lesbian.

By Fran Lebowitz
Money...buys privacy, silence. The less money you have, the noisier it is; the thinner your walls, the closer your neighbors.... The first thing you notice when you step into the house or apartment of a rich person is how quiet it is.

By Fran Lebowitz
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.

By Fran Lebowitz
Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

By Fran Lebowitz
Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word collectible as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.

By Fran Lebowitz
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

By Fran Lebowitz
If you're going to America, bring your own food.

By Fran Lebowitz
Twenty-four-hour room service generally refers to the length of time that it takes for the club sandwich to arrive. This is indeed disheartening, particularly when you

By Fran Lebowitz
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

By Fran Lebowitz
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.

By Fran Lebowitz
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.

By Fran Lebowitz
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

By Fran Lebowitz
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting

By Fran Lebowitz
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

By Fran Lebowitz
The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive-you are leaking.

By Fran Lebowitz
The controversial overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

By Fran Lebowitz
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable

By Fran Lebowitz
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

By Fran Lebowitz
Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.

By Fran Lebowitz
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you

By Fran Lebowitz
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

By Fran Lebowitz
Nothing succeeds like address.

By Fran Lebowitz
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

By Fran Lebowitz
My favorite animal is steak

By Fran Lebowitz
My favorite animal is steak.

By Fran Lebowitz
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep

By Fran Lebowitz
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.

By Fran Lebowitz
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra

By Fran Lebowitz